Between Horror and Humor

Penat

2012-02-10T02:38:00.002+08:00

Just read all these lectures almost break my nerves.

And this is just for selanjar 2....

How will I get to stand for pro exam if continue like this....

It's a suffer, for forever dream career

Ranting Otak

2012-02-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

ni bukan kedai jual todi ye anak2.

Well actually wanna post Wordless Wednesday. Just noticed that I had this wonderful phone K770i which is cybershot then I bought a new one. The new one is far different from the K770i and the camera is so lame. sigh.....

Ini ialah BRAINSTEM ye anak-anak.

To know what the heck is brainstem, you can google it though. When we talked about brain, we must at first just know the Cerebrum, but it's more than that. Okay, so as a first year medical student, it's a must to know where the cranial nerves are located. The cranial nerves are denoted in ROMAN numerals, like Olfactory Nerve (I) is for the smelling. And I actually have 12 Cranial Nerves to get stuck in my brain.

Okay, better stop blabbering here. This is certainly not wordless wednesday. Lol.

You will read if you know

2012-02-06T17:17:00.001+08:00

A thousand miles would I walk if I wanna see you tonight. If only if you know how you meant to me. And yes I regret for not being your closest friend first.

.......

.....

...

Le Truth

2012-02-06T12:38:00.001+08:00

Just read blog.arif. And what you can find in his latest entry is about MARA, that they don't actually apply the SPC- skim pelajar cemerlang thingy. Like before, those who got SPC (the excellent student scheme) would just have to pay 1% of the total sponsorship they got for their studies. Not anymore ~~bustards!~~

Well even arif himself is still unsure about this matter. I mean he completed his degree, and he is just hoping that it would be 100% sponsor like it used to be. What the real picture is NOW , MARA has completely revised its policy.

So 20% is what I have to pay after finishing my MD here. Hooray!...And it's a lot I tell you. So don't blame me why I keep on blabbering on saving up. You see, I am no richie kid. I can't depend on my parents all the time. It is already a sin asking money from them at this age even though I am still under their responsibility. ~~At 20, am I kidding my self?~~

For sure, I hope this scheme is not gonna change anymore. I wonder how those who finished studying will contemplate on this matter though. Must be so disappointed.

But here one thing:

You are under JPA sponsorship, then you're obliged to work for the government for 10 years. If not, you have to pay ALL the sum of sponsorship you get.

You are under MARA, then you're obliged to pay back about 20% of the total sum you get in the first place, but it is convertible under certain rules and terms. (No need working for government for 10 years)

So which one do you prefer now?

Bank Negara, Petronas, Shell, Yayasan??

It is all up to you and of course your important SPM results and pointers.

DR Raichur

2012-02-05T20:40:00.002+08:00

Well ada kisah dengan seorang physiologist yand bernama seperti di atas. Nanti gue tulis deh...sekarang sedang sibuk melayan perasaan tak tentu arah study week, yang tak berapa nak progressive. Sigh. I need a spark in my life now.

Masih juga dalam teka-teki nak kemana cuti seminggu lepas exam. Alahai sayang, seminggu aje pon, tak sempat bersuka ria dah kena berduka. And upon all, I do think USM need to revise how they can reduce stress among us students.

Hari ni, em nak habiskan notes on anatomy, memang tinggal harapan la. Serious penat sayang semua, because looking at the slides like every single details you have to know, but our deputy dean did say that they don't actually hoping we know everything. Tapi Indian lecturers ni lain sikit perangai. They are like books memorizer. Cuba buka buku Chaurasia (a book on dissecting) and you can actually hear the same phrases and sentences just like in the book from their mouth. THE AGONY!

Okay itu sahaja yang dapat dicoret. Dr Raichur, is a person I wanna brag...but later after finish exam. LOL

The 13

2012-02-04T19:50:00.001+08:00

Well, they, the 13 of them, came to join us here a bit late. Almost like 2 months gap between us and them. They said they were belittled. They were treated harsh in USM Kelantan and they were in mental distress that they were given permission to not attending classes for the first months.

One day I received news from a friend who is one of the 13, that they won't be coming here. Everyone was in despair. Of course, it was like a part of us was being separated. They were given a lot of choices on what they should do instead of coming here by MARA. But some of them were really freaking furious at that time, while little of them were really patient. I adored those who was patient enough.

Then, after a while of hiccups hearing bad news from their side, well they were actually 21 in numbers but reduced to 13 for some reasons which I couldn't make out, I suddenly received this message from the same person, the same friend I used to been receiving message, that they were allowed to come.

Once they arrived, none of them were looking joyful, because of certain reasons and mishaps that happened. Some of them weren't been given the rooms at the same hostel as the earlier peeps have. They were in mental distress again going to and fro the guest house. Pity them though.

Most of the 13 friends I mentioned are really a great persons. Funny, outrageous, smart, one of them truly KNOWS Hindi which is a very good thing, one is very athletic, one is super intelligent and full of ideas, and you named it. Also, some of them are really porous but at the same time cute and friendly.

The bond between them however is something you can't deny of the strength it has. It's like hydrogen bond you learned in Chemistry. So strong. They are like sticking together as a synctium almost 24/7. Then, shaitaan whispered me this words that leaded me to jealousy. And the jealousy becoming stronger each day.

I am generally jealous of the bond they have as a group. I mean the girls can rely on the boys member so much that is almost looking like they are some kind of a family. When one get sick, the other will quickly come and lend some medicine. When the canteen is closed due to certain holidays, like for a week, the 13 of them would cooked and eat together at the canteen, which I had never experienced. Also, on study week, they would make this synctial work by doing study group. Get down this white board and prepared for the tutorials and they would learn like that which is efficient. And during vacation week, they would go for a picnic or shopping as the 13. Which for me is the sweetest thing ever.

So sad, that I don't quite have that here.

I mean I feel alone. And this is bad. Even now, I am.....actually alone.

I am in a terrible jealousy syndrome that I have to get rid off, but just couldn't help it.

They are so happy together and they are family.

Deep down in my heart I want that sort of things too but I just couldn't get one.

But maybe because this is what's the best I can get?

>>p/s: why?<<

Medic-student Pressure VS Maulud Nabi Muhammad s.a.w

2012-02-03T02:33:00.002+08:00

Actually I am in a condition of major dilemma.

Maulidur Rasul is this Saturday. I have this crossword puzzle to be completed. It needs me to know various important things that related to the life of Rasulullah S.A.W.

I tried to complete it by Google most of the answer. This is what happened kids, when in high school, you learnt Islamic Education for the sake of having a big smile on the Ustazah's face as well as to get the A on your slip.

Well, the questions are really tricky. Not everything can be Googled, is what I learned from this event. One of the questions is, write the name of a place where many JINNS were reverted to Islam. Another one is what is the name of a person who reverted to Islam because he wasn't willing to see Prophet Muhammad s.a.w to be insulted?

Even the crossword puzzle linkage seems to make people confused. And I just knew that we have to pass this by 12 am...which I obviously fail to do that. T___T sorry.

I love you dear HEART, but I am also tired LEARNING about you. But my heart deep inside tells me to be a cardiologist one day:)

Simultaneously, it's hard to answer and revise for Cardiovascular system. Everything is Physics now, eh no! Physiology! But it's damn tricky! I don't know what to write anymore on the answer papers. Plus, tomorrow we have an exam to face. Clap, clap, clap.

End block again. And please make tomorrow's night come quicker. I am tired actually because for the small group discussion we are going to have tomorrow, most of the people are trying to pick the easiest question available, make me a leader who have to deal asking people which questions they want (apparently, this wasted my time) , and how great because we are going to have Dr Raichur as our supervisor cum tutor. And everyone is afraid of Dr Raichur for certain reasons. Clap again.

At the end, I drown into this dilemma of whether to finish my crossword puzzle or to finish doing this questions. But in the end I chose to blog because 'the blog' is a friend I can trust who is not alive.

>>p/s: Esok pasti lebih baik daripada hari ni!!! Yakin dengan Allah<<

short mumbling

2012-02-02T00:16:00.000+08:00

Today I feel people do not respect me. Actually, I felt it a long ago. When people actually seems to not notice that they have to pay some respect for me. Am I asking for too much?

These days, when it almost pass 6 months being here all alone, I do feel something is wrong. I mean I am facing this complex situation where I cannot tell people. A friend noticed (well, I thanked him for noticing), that something is not well with me. He asked me who. I just can't answer. Too egoistic. I just told him, that he is not that close that I should tell the real story.

I am a person who love to express what I feel. I am somewhat an artist deep down, but too bad I sing badly, so I cannot make a song about it, nor am I a poet. So I just like to mumble. Telling this story, I mean problem to mom also seems to be so awkward. Then, I realised, I don't quite have a person for me to trust.

Also, being a secondum assistant to this one leader is also seems to be a nuisance. He always forget to help in whatever things I asked kindly for, which at last made me disappointed. Sometimes, I think he disrespect me in things I am doing. But I am not doing things for selfish reasons, instead I am doing for the whole colleagues here:(

Been six months here, at least what I can find is a good room mate. I just need some fresh air somehow. It's also awkward that I don't feel happy...instead very very very sad.

>>p/s: Ya Allah, if it's true I am not meant to be with the person I adore and love, bring me closer to you please. For your love is my greatest reason why I have to live happily. Please erase this sadness dear Allah.<<

Mati di bumi orang

2012-01-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

One fine day, I was having this nice chat cum tutorial with a friend named F. We learned various topics including Biology and some Chemistry as far as I concerned.

Then, I told him that there was a medical student in Indonesia who was just in his first year, been taken by Allah forever. He was diagnosed with a dengue and died 2 weeks after that. I said to him how sad it would be for the families of that student.

Then he told me not to pity. Don't pity those died because of jihad. I became purplexed and asked him, "Jihad?"

Then he explained that students who migrated to further his study and then he died because of disease, he can be considered as jihad. But, as long as he while studied, put Allah as his priority.

And after 2 years, when I read this surah, this bumped to me:

Surah An-Nisa, verse 100.

Dan barangsiapa berhijrah di jalan Allah, nescaya mereka akan dapatkan di Bumi Allah ini tempat hijrah yang luas dan rezeki yang banyak. Barang siapa keluar dari rumahnya dengan maksud berhijrah kerana Allah dan Rasulnya, kemudian kematian menimpanya, maka sungguh pahalanya ditetapkan disisi Allah. Dan Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang.

So, to reflect the sorrow I have in my heart, I should come back strong! It's not easy to be having this chance living in the other side of the world. Even though, I haven't cross continents, it is just Asia, still Asia, but the fact that I live far away from my family, give me the sorrow. The sorrow of not being able to send my little sister to her boarding school, the sorrow of not being able to catch a ride on my little brother's car and have some wild bro-sis day out. WAAA The agony!

Even if I die here, it would be a blessing. Ya ALLAH I need only you in my heart and in my mind. Don't let me be astray....

>>p/s: takde boypren pada umur 20 tahun merupakan satu agony gak.. T.T...sabar ye mama...yang tak sabar nak tgk aku kahwin....study biar gempak dulu...<<

Battle Secondum

2012-01-29T16:40:00.002+08:00

Less than 2 weeks before 2nd selanjar.

Progress has been quite slow. And I am no longer an A-straight kid.

A friend of medschool back then faraway in Perak told me this in Twitter:

"Dapat A ke tak, doesn't matter. Bila dah kerja nanti sama je, gaji sama, start pun dari Housemen"

True indeed. But somehow or rather, the content feeling of obtaining the shining A somewhat matters, to me.

HOWEVER,

now that I am no longer in school, I should put down some believe. People obtaining A is always those who people will look for and look upon to. But, I don't think I want that now.

One day, a friend named N, a girl of course, came to my room during brunch hours. She was wearing baju kelawar and looked insanely just finished her studying. She wanted to get some slides notes and at the same time glancing at my histo work book. I gave her mine since I didn't let her borrow my neuroanatomy textbook because I wanna use it. Later, she found out that I do READ the text book, hence she became puzzled and surprised.

"Wey...aku tak baca pon buku2 semua ni. Aku baca lecture notes je...takde masa nak baca semua ni weh"

That's what she said to me. And she-who-I-must-not-named got an A during the previous battle. And I, who read all these books? Emmmm.....cukup makan aje but I felt content already.

So, if we looked back. Do ALLAH The Most Merciful looks upon the 'A' that we got, or HE looks more upon our efforts and perseverance? Think. And I got the answer. At first, I was quite intimidated by the person named 'N', but then is 'A' matters so much that I must feel intimidated? No.

When we learned...or when we try to quest for something, we must at our most think that Allah is seeing us. Observing us. We learned and get the knowledge from HIM through mediums like books, lectures, the talks given and etc. Only how fast and how much knowledge we get is what gives us borders.

So I must think. You too.

Let us study with peace. And do remember, nothing comes in handy and no entity can help us, rather than our MOST MERCIFUL ALLAH S.W.T.

I'll make you stay

2012-01-28T20:03:00.002+08:00

Well, this song is just amazing, and suiting the mood I am having right now.

So enjoy, don't forget some tissue to wipe your tears dry!

Bukan semua itu indah

2012-01-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

Haha! We are in need to get rid of the fridge we have here. But how? They only give us A ONE WEEK notice? Sigh.

India is a place where it can make you so pissed off. The authority here works slow like a siput and every simple thing can be so complicated.

Recently, the KLE's behalf noticed that there's a peak rise in the electric bill which they assumed we the USMKLE students to be one of the causes. About three weeks ago, I did write an announcement to my colleagues to use the induction cooker less and no one can buy the fridge anymore. But like always, what I told them went down the drain.

So, now, the peak rise of bill has becomes tremendously high. They hence gave us this notice and made us to sign it. Sadly, our student's welfare officer is out somewhere in Mangalore and she will be boarding off to Australia in a week.

The only person we can talked to about the matter is our Deputy Dean who is superbly busy and occupied but he did a great job entertaining us during the study under the tree experience with him at his house. Not to mentioned, he gave us some spaces at his place for us to gather and cooked. It was awesome and I felt like being at kampung where waiting for the aunts to cook and we the kids watched TV while waiting.

Back to the point, now, people are worried where they are gonna place and hide the bloody gigantic fridge. I mean come on la Indians, we are living here for 5 YEARS, and bloody need the fridge. We drink milk daily and we have to cool it in the fridge, we cooked and that's why we have to put our groceries in the fridge. We can't afford to eat outside like some anak bangsawan out there because we are not!! And we have to cook for our own health benefits!!

Thus yesterday, my roomy and me went to have some eye to eye chat with the care taker of the hostel. We told her straight to the face why we need to keep the freaking fridge!!!

Gosh I am so mad. This is the reality when you live in a country so corrupt. And in the country, where the people are so freaking annoying. Some are good and some are just so bad. I am tired thinking of things that we have the right to keep or not. Why making things complicated!!

We have had enough of the most expensive hostel rent in the whole India and now this? Please lah, nak masak pun sempit, but I am aware that kubur nanti lagi sempit. This world is full of injustice....oh Allah gives me strength to face all this.

Kalah Menang

2012-01-26T02:46:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum people:)

Can you believe that we here had sports day for the past 2 days? Yes! Medical students and sports day are not something bizarre. In fact, I am astonished by the athletic friends and colleagues I have here.

We have an iron lady, which I competed with her in a 100 meter spring racing. And it is ridiculous, because I am barely a person who can sprint, but she (who is in red team), was basically a representer for SUKMA. Can you note my point now? How on earth can a person who is so kayu like me to win the race? Where is justice? And this is why I hate sports sometimes. It's embarrassing to tell readers here about the actual detail during the competition.

But at least, I was lucky because I got second place in single badminton game. And it was super lucky for me actually since I competed with the yellow team's first, whom basically, em did not know how to play. I won the first round, then to get either the first or the second place, I fought with a senior, which was from the Blue Team. She is known for being good at the game among her peers, but isn't as good as my old friend back in high school, whom I used to play with quite often when Chiam was around.

It was a tough fight playing with the Blue Team, but I gave chance to her since I was already pancit. That was a circumstance for not being fit enough. I can say I am proud to contribute some points for my Green House The Pacific Dragons though. Clap clap clap. (*seriously clapping and cheering for myself*)

Okay, so on the first day of Samudra, the green team was so lucky that we were mostly on the first or the 2nd rank. The basketball team won Gold, The netball team won gold too, then we also had the badminton won gold and silver respectively for women's double and men's double and single.

Too bad things weren't that lucky during the second day. The girls barely win anything. Only the boys sprinters got the medals and the points. T___T...also during baling selipar and galah panjang, we lost. Maybe because we lost our spirit as we knew we weren't strong and many of us were injured. At last, we gave chances for the blue team as they barely win anything HAHAHAHAR.

Well, Samudra2012, was a blast I could say. Too bad I am not athletic enough to have participate in netball since Darina said I can't the grip the ball well, also the futsal which em....I was lazying around not coming for the practice. I am so sorry that I have said yes to participate in the 100 meters, which I obviously can't win.

Anyhow, Green Team/Pacific has won the 2nd Place!!! Alhamdulillah:) Hooray!!! Most of the competitors we had were injured badly including our group leader whom I assumed he had spasms of his thigh. The Red team roars like always (like in school) and indeed the red team members are not humans. What did they eat????

not complete. but we are the proud to say we are the PACIFIC DRAGONS!!!

Well too bad some of them went home already:(( BUT WE ROCK!

Realiti Belajar Jarak Jauh

2012-01-17T01:07:00.001+08:00

Hai. Saya pelajar jarak jauh. Belajar di offshore campus perubatan yang terletak di sebuah perkampungan di India, bernama Belgaum.

Hari ni, dua orang pensyarah dari kampus USM malaysia datang menjengah. Salah seorang daripadanya memang saya dah pernah ketemui di USMKK sewaktu orientasi, dimana beliau bilang mengenai TITAS. Seorang lagi pula pensyarah keusahawanan.

To make things short, hari ni pukul 5 ptg, selepas dissection mereka datang menjengah kami bebudak first year. Menayangkan contoh powerpoint dan contoh profil usahawan yang ada. Baru tau kalau pelajar jarak jauh, kod kursus bukan lagi WUS, tetapi JUS. LOL.

Ada banyak perkara kena tukar. Profil usahawan yang dulunya kami ingat buat satu muka surat sekarang kena buat dalam 3 muka surat atau lebih. Maka, kami pun berang, dan masing-masing cakap kenapa bukan satu muka surat. Tiba-tiba, pensyarah tersebut berkata,

'Kalau anda mahu buat satu muka surat, tak jadi masalah. Tapi anda kena bukak stall usahawan macam kat USMKK'

Dan yang ironinya, ada juga kepala-kepala pemalas nak taip pakai komputer canggih yang mahu susah payah bukak stall. Tidak tahukah mereka bahawasanya, hari-hari kami di sini sudah penuh dengan aktiviti. Pagi petang kelas, then ada latihan utk SAMUDRA, then nak belajar lagi. ISH3. Banyak pulak saya merungut, sedangkan dulu ye ye nak ambik kursus kedoktoran ni. ~~Almaklumlah glamer kan?~~

Bukan itu sahaja, yang menyakitkan hati lembut saya. Bahkan, banyak perkara perlu di alter sebab nak dapatkan A untuk kursus ini. Dan, yang paling seronok, esok ada exam keusahawan. Malam pulak tu. Bestkan sejuk2 pergi kampus? Bolehla test ada asap keluar tak waktu borak2, ye dak?

So malam ni, dgn pada mulanya happy sebab ingat boleh menelaah sedikit pasal jantung manusia, tiba-tiba kena belajar pasal bisnes. Best kan? Suka buat surprise, and yeah saya memang suka surprise. Lain kali buat lagi ye!

Apa-apa pun, hopefully ramai orang tenangkan diri walaupun banyak perkara kena ubah. Memang sakit hati tengok pensyarah keusahawanan tu datang, pastu sempat melawak, padahal kami yang kena buat kerja last minute. Ish2. Maksudnya, cuti raya cina terbuang aje sebab kena membetulkan proposal kami....

But people!! relaxla...I am telling this to myself. Ini baru scene kecil dan remeh jika nak dibandingkan dengan scene yang lebih mencabar waktu kerja nanti. Allah uji macam ni sebab tau kami mampu. Percaya sahaja kepada Allah yang Esa.

Berkata Abdullah bin Mas’ud r.a. bahawasanya Nabi SAW telah bersabda: Allah Taala telah berfirman:“Demi Allah yang tiada ilah yang haq kecuali Dia, tiada seorangpun berbaik sangka kepada Allah, melainkan Allah akan memberikan sesuai yang disangkanya, karena kebaikan ada di tangan-Nya.” (Atz-Tadzkirah, Imam al-Qurthubi))

>>p/s: type dalam bahasa malaysia kerana rindukan Malaysia to the max. Pergh baru 4 bulan, chillax laaa! <<

Masak-masak

2012-01-15T01:52:00.001+08:00

Masak-masak is always fun when you know how to cook, know where to get the almost-similar ingredients like what you can get in home sweet home, Malaysia, and to add more, when you have good buddy to rely on to. Who can actually play as your mother and cook for you.

I mostly care about food. Plus, staying in this chilly weather or better cut short as winter, make you growl 24/7. Lapar weh....and the saddest thing of all when you spent RM400 as your monthly meal but every other kids got chicken but you only get a fried egg + some masala powder. T.T. The question is, where is justice.

Muak is another thing. Muak is when you are EXHAUSTED of having the same kind of thing as a routine. I would say now I am already muak with the food at Mess. Everyday the same chicken dishes, the same warm water, the same hard-stony rice and the same unfresh okra and potatoes deep fried. I can't even stand with the briyani nowadays. Although, briyani supposed to be super delicious.

To quit paying RM400 for the food that I am exhausted with is impossible....why? Because USM's deputy dean, who is very much concern that we won't be having enough time to cook, want us to eat there for the entire first year, and probably for the upcoming years till I graduate (*insyaAllah*) According to him, we will get the safest and cleanest food in India at our MESS but he didn't know how we are almost puking eating the repeated thing.

GEEZ...I whine too much even though I must be lucky that my room mate has this terrific but very surprising attitude whereby she will be very eccentric at times and DOOSH, She cooks like a boss! She made nice nasi lemak last week, but her Mihun Goreng, was awful yesterday. But her asam pedas tastes awesome. She also bought some ikan bilis, which is very rare here people....And I am just waiting for her to make up something out of that. LOL.

Apparently, asking mom and dad to send a parcel of things from Malaysia has becoming a nuisance to them. Pity them so much that they have to spend another RM200 for a 4kg parcel just for me. How could I repay their kindness? T.T I miss them damn muchoooo.

Okay....maybe people wanna see some photos out of this blog. Sorry, just that I hate that my Sony E won't work like the former K770I with it's 3.2MP camera. Blame me for choosing the wrong camera-phone!

NASI LEMAK !!! sedapppp

Pabila rajin menjelma

>>P/S: gambar asam pedas tak sempat capture since I was occupied on that day, hanya sempat melahap je. LOL<<

Hole in a pocket

2012-01-13T03:57:00.002+08:00

assalamualaikum.

Well, 2012 has been em quite hectic but again boring. I mean, I am here where the community of my people (the Malaysians) are barely could be counted by the fingers, and the moment I open my eyes, wow, it is the same person, the same group I stumbled upon to.

Samudra 2012 or the sports day that we organized ourselves is going to happen on the CNY holiday. Seeing all the posts by my colleagues back in Kubang Kerian on the fact that they are finding people who can carpooling with them to return home makes me sad, a little, somehow.

I am still with my ego. Which, I do not want to go back yet. Because, I don't want to feel so close at home till I can't let it go. I don't want myself to be like who I used to be during my asasi years. Barely stayed at Puncak Alam on weekends, and MUST go home by Friday night so that I can feel the Saturday at my home sweet home. No way I going to do that again.

Plus, it is also the time for me to stop being pampered by the family. It is the reality which I am going to face, insyaAllah for the entire rest of my life devoting my soul and my workforce to this crazy field of medicine...that has made me decided to be a little away from home. *relax bai, baru India....belum antartika* Thus, this lead to my decision to return only on July that is after the first phase of my MD is over!

Also, at this moment, where the hole in the pocket has gotten so large that I could die. LOL. MARA has been very generous to give us this opportunity to become rich kids. Some of us had also bought ourselves IPAD, GALAXY TAB and Galaxy Note you all tau? And yeah...this is absolutely one of .the perks for becoming a sponsor student. And up to now, after 4 months, the money seems to flow out and out non-stop.

Leaving in India where people said things are cheap and cheap is not the matter. But, the university that we are bound to, seemed to have eaten all the money. Just imagine paying USD 900 for a year hostel fee, then the bus fee where it costs us around USD 200 whereby we don't really use the bus anymore since it will only make us look like too cool for being late. After that, we have library fees which in rupees it costs around 4600 rupees which is several hundred ringgit and super expensive to me.

Then, every month and so, we withdraw some more money to buy stuff we need in our daily life. All the snacks that could fill up the stomach while feeling hungry spontaneously as we are in a very hectic schedule of studying and studying. The snacks plus all the itineraries like detergents, soaps, shampoos and for the girly important stuff will cost you around RM 200 per month. Not including the broadband recharge. Of course, to have the best connectivity, the most costly package is available. And it is because it is not our parent's money, that lead us to over-spent the money to just have a better youtube session. T.T

a tree I want to grow in my yard

So, one lucky and fine day, my room mate nagged on how I have been a very stingy person. She advised me to not just keeping the money in the bank, instead I should invest it so that the money tree can be bear. That's why I am planning for some business selling sarees. And I hope it will turn out well because I really need to create some asset as the money given by MARA is not enough, literally. Whatnot, currently, the food served by MESS is super awful where the vegetables are not fresh, I now move on to cooking DIY. But mostly my friend/roommate will cook, meanwhile I bought the induction cooker which is like a boss expensive around RM 300. T.T *another money flow out*. Basically, I wanna grow a money tree for the funding of buying the ingredients to cook and to buy a stethoscope. And I am serious.

>>p/s: staying in India makes you feel so rich, but the reality is you are not. So beware to those who wanna join us!:D<<

sukan oh sukan

2012-01-08T11:19:00.000+08:00

saya suka sukan

tapi tak suka main sukan

it's just that I don't have the talent.

*sedangkan memang kaki malas*

Okay people. In two weeks time, we the small community in this lovely place called USM KLE Belgaum is going to have a sports day! WOHOO:D *sorak sikit*

So yeah, it's like the basic school sports day where we have divided among ourselves to various groups according to color. I am green so beware.

Being here, where we have to conduct our own activity is always difficult. But, I must praise those sports and culture bureau for making it a reality for the kids here to play netball, track game, relay, basketball, badminton, tennis and the list goes on.

Just that, there's no teacher or coaches here to blindly PERSUADING us to play, thus creating more people like the lazy me. (*I am just so proud to be lazy..*)

SAMUDRA KINI BAKAL TIBA. hahahaXD

SAMUDRA USM-KLE 2012 gonna be a blast since the IDEA is fantastic. Even we have our own groups by the name of oceans. Mine is Pacific which is GREEN. LOL.

But, even though I dislike sports, I know very well how sports can instill this feeling of being together and fight for our dignity, I mean our group's dignity. And, with many talented ~~kids~~ friends I have here, surely SAMUDRA will roars!

>>p/s: tulis nama masuk futsal, tapi serious malas weh nak main. why so serious la people!??>>

Community Placement

2012-01-05T03:21:00.001+08:00

Community Placement, is going to be ON for tomorrow. I am actually the project manager for this first meeting with our first activity showdown. I am excited but scared for some reason.

First, we are going to do this community service at a 'special deaf and mute kids' school located very near to our hostel. I mean if there's no wall at our campus, we can surely just walk there, but the reality is bitter. Due to a wall, we have to travel via our mini school bus. Great.

20 other colleagues and I went to the very place last week, during our first meeting. The place was located at a very isolate compound, and the moment we entered, all the special kids stand up and greet us like they greet their God.

So, we were having an orientation on that day actually. The supervisor of that school isn't able to converse in English, and only knows the local Kannada, and thus we have to have our own escort Dr Kiran as the translator. Which is kinda hard BECAUSE we ourselves are not well versed in Kannada. Susah ooo nak cakap dalam bahasa ayam itik. Literally susah.

origami is what we are gonna teach these kids tomorrow. Gulp!

And the orientation lasted about 2 hours I think, whereby we were shown some simple sign language like the numbers and common alphabets, on the animals, and on the days but I only remember how to 'say' elephant though. Blame me for lack of knowledge in these stuff.

The kids there are mostly girls ranged about 5 to 18 years old, and only 10 boys. The girls stayed there, where they sleep on the floor. Well, it's very pity, but that is real life in India. The school on the other hand is named, The school for the deaf and dumb kids, but ironically, these kids are not dumb at all. Dumb are generally long time ago American usage to console those who are mute and deaf. But they don't use that anymore, plus, some of them could be offended if we called them dumb and deaf.

So during the orientation, one of my colleague, Adib, asked if we could change the school's name, but in the end, they said they can't as the school has already abided by the government. Poor kids, though. They learnt tough subjects like high level maths and chemistry. Sadly, they don't learn English and vocational subject. I kinda worry how their future gonna be with lack of English proficiency and human skills.

On the other hand, being a project manager is a drench task. It was actually three of us who are supposed to be in charge but the other two girls went sick during the group discussion, so the group leader passed the work to me. Well, being a leader is hard. I mean, I have leadership skills but somehow or rather I believed that people looked down on me because I care too much. They can easily 'step on' my kindness and my inability to reject people's lame and stupid ideas if they are good friends. And today I really feel awkward and weak.

Tomorrow's visit must be exciting. I really wanna it to be so because first impression always counts first. Lol. I hope the group members are aware of their specific tasks as I have posted them on Facebook group like so many times. And who doesn't notice Facebook notifications these days eh?

>>p/s: Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusanku dan rakan-rakanku. Dan jauhilah aku daripada sifat riak dan takbur serta bangga diri. Lindungilah aku daripada segala kejahatan dan lapangkanlah dadaku dengan kesabaran:) <<

Booked!

2012-01-02T02:54:00.002+08:00

Apa yang dah booked?

It's my air ticket to MALAYSIA people...

Yes, I am longing dearly to be with my family....

Eating with them, laugh with them over littlest things and just see them with my own eyes.

The fact that I don't use Skype too often is because I literally don't have time for it.

I know it's pathetic....but seriously, I just have to work harder for other things;

Not because I am a slow learner, it's because I am a fast learner who often forgets!

I think my limbic system has got lesions. And whatever it is, I still have to mingle harder with these books, lecture slides and all.

I am tired. And tires always vanish whenever I see my family....

Thus, my family is the medicine for all this laziness and ...this feeling of discomfort.

August 2012...please come hurrily....

But before that, I must COMPLETE this Phase 1 successfully!

Oh. I need the energy....the Action Potential for this brain to work at its max!

>>p/s: it's sad when a person who you longed to call/contact, became totally awkward to talk to and the saddest thing of all is that person seems like your call is unimportant<<

20 years of life

2012-01-01T13:48:00.003+08:00

I am not yet 20 but will be in another 6 months.

Being 20 denotes the disappearance of the word teen. It denotes another phase of life called adulthood.

Many people claimed that I am more matured than my age.

But deep inside, I am a kid, who sometimes is too naive of things happening around me.

In another 5 years, InsyaAllah, I will embrace the working life as a doctor. It's something that my heart says what I should be.

And being at a hospital is not always fun. I am aware of the great possibilities of me to get scolded by the senior doctors, to get mocked, to get insulted and everything harsh that would pressurize this head.

Yesterday, I had hospital attachment with the ENT department at KLE Hospital right here.

For a newbie, everything looks exciting....but to work, to apply the knowledge and skill while surgery is another thing which sometimes makes me worry. Apparently, worrying is a waste of time. I, We, You should

Also, apart from work, there's another phase of being 20 which is marriage.

Of course, I won't be settling down and be somebody's wife right now or at precisely 20 of age, but it's a kickstart actually to really find someone who can be a soulmate for life.

Then the question tickled: Is there any man out there who can suits or compliment me? I doubt, sometimes. :P

So marrying is something I think it can be queued and place at the bottom of my priority. The most essential aspect now is trying my best to be as most perfect daughter towards my beloved parents. Can't imagine one day, I would be freed from their responsibility and leave home to start a new family. Could you?

I have been thinking a lot these days. Sometimes I am lost. And so I hope this year, will turn out good. Allah is the only entity that can give me strength for all these. amin.

When you learning strategy FAILS

2011-12-31T16:17:00.001+08:00

assalamualaikum everybody.

Tau tak yang saya langsung tak boleh jawab exam pagi tadi.

AND saya langsung tak tau mana silap saya...

BACA, ULANGKAJI, tapi tak masuk....

Well, I love the Nervous Block because I feel like a neurologist. But now, I think it's impossible for me to actually be in line for the next neurologist like Prof Jafri Malin Abdullah of USM.

Just that, this morning was terrifying. Knowing that my knowledge is saturated but the brain failed to memorize or recall most of the important aspects that I have to know for this subject, was scary....I mean it is still scary now.

We have this book called Unlimited Paradigm, a compilation of various questions usually being asked for this block courtesy of the recent students of USM Kubang Kerian. Unfortunately, due to my ego, I haven't touch the book thoroughly, just had a glance look and tell myself that I don't need it as a reference.

But, Allah wants to show his way to me this morning, whereby I was fully blacked out on questions like nerve tracts and I think I am getting a 'chicken egg' for biochemistry. Sedihhhhhnyaa....! I feel so dumb that I would cry out tears.

End block is super tiring, super worrisome, super terrifying and exhausting. I mean this is medical school that I always longing to come right? What else should I expect? *Clap, Clap, Clap* Because my life will go like turbulent after this. Thus, I really need a new strategy to overcome this.

>>p/s: New block on Homeopathic System is gonna start this Monday for 2 weeks. Oh...how hectic, and community placement was too boring for me. Emm. Any ideas how to instill my empathy towards those who are unlucky???<<

My3S is this?

2011-12-30T00:08:00.000+08:00

Just Finished doing the survey T.T

This is not any chart, this is my soft skilled chart which has been generated by the MOHE. The red one is the critical skill which I lack in. And it's business. It's true that I am not any near to have this great business mind even though I always like to watch Donald Trump in the Apprentice 3 years back. LOL.

The problem is, if I lack in this skill how am I supposed to proliferate the assets I have got. Dang it!....AND I must tell you, this is not good for the Malaysians production. Sad with no reason now. HAHA.

Wordmore Wednesday.

2011-12-29T00:10:00.003+08:00

In one moment, you seems to have no reason to live. Because your only reason is to die peacefully, and living is just a temporary stop over.

Usaha & Exam

2011-12-26T00:58:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum peeps:)

There are time when I sigh and sigh for wanting so much to run for my dream that I have to leave my precious home. You can consider me as having a homesick. And homesick referred to the longing to spend time with the precious family members, especially my parents, to see how my siblings look like, to talk more to them, to see how my cousins are doing, my precious aunties and uncles and the nephews and cute nieces I have.

The reason why I don't wanna return to Malaysia for this upcoming Chinese New Year or the exam break on the late February, is because I wanna convince myself that I can live for almost a year abroad and alone. It feels wonderful to know how we can be independent. I also wanna be truly focus on my studies. And yes, you can call me nerdy or whatever.

Nak kumpul duit pi Shimla sebenarnya. ANYONE IN?

People might say that our results of examinations are already being planned or made by Allah. If that the case, why need studying so hard? Why so serious? We can just be a nobody, and just live without the need of getting a job or the pay because we ended up saying everything has been planned by He the All Mighty. Then, what's the purpose of life, if we just go by the wind. Or in Bahasa, we called it as ikut je haluan lalang, ikut je ke mana angin tu tiup.

But Allah does said, that TAWAKAL LAH KAMU APABILA KAMU TELAH BERUSAHA. It clearly means that we need to do something, do anything as long as it is morally, to achieve what we want, to get the best out of the best. And the most important part is that, Hamizah ( my group Naqibah) told me that, what exactly Allah sees in us is the efforts we made up through. All the obstacles that we went through that count not the final result of our exams and all.

So, here comes the eye opener. Before this, I always blame Allah for what I have been through. The complicated pathways to reach medical school. The inability to score great marks at Asasi and the fact that I didn't get a place for medicine at Malaysian's University. In the end, with unexpectation, Allah the Great, gives me one better opportunity to come here, to Belgaum, an offshore USM Medical Campus. Thus, I get two opportunities, to experience other people's culture and also to be trained as a doctor :p

And life as a medical student sucks...a lot I mean. But it's so fascinating to learn about the human's body parts. Every little detail about it is so beautiful and delicate. It teaches me how Allah has made it all perfectly.

>>p/s: Hence, I now would contemplate more on the importance of efforts made than how the results gonna be. Because everything happens because of reasons, and some are those can only be explained by the Creator. <<

Sejuk is bad actually

2011-12-25T02:55:00.000+08:00

Angan-angan zaman kanak-kanak:

Bestnya pergi negara ada salji cam NZ ke, UK ke, US ke, ada salji...boleh buat snowman, baling-baling bebola salji macam Winter Sonata....bestnya kalau sejuk...Malaysia panas sgt!

bestnyeeww!

-Well, those sentences up there are common statement made by US, ME, YOU and I. Malaysia is hot, no doubt. And being in somewhere chilly is good and more comfy. But if it's too chilling then arise another problem.

-Belgaum has reach its peak of winter. No snow of course, but wow, this is super cold. I can presume that it is now 16 degree celcius, which only air conditioner can give such temperature in Malaysia. Ahaks :D

-First, it has been a lot of fun being in this cold weather. However, lately, it has become so cold, that I can't write because my hands feel so cold and my nose when dry and blocked with the dried midst of air. My nose hurts a lot. Such an unpleasant feeling.

-Then, with this very chilly weather, many of my colleagues went sick. Thankfully, all of them have recovered. Prof KJ always asked us to wear proper clothes, and wrap our neck with mafela and such to keep it warm enough, to eat right and etc.

-More cold, more tendency to go hungry. Plus, with the piling up works on the desks, sure the stomach will growl more for food. Thus people eat more, but lack exercising because the weather is so cold!....

Haha. So kids, if you are planning to study here in BELGAUM, please do bring extra warm clothing. Jackets, mafela, and stuff so that you will feel a lot better. Just that the weather here is alternate. The winter is on and off.

>>nak masuk tahun baru dah. here comes 2012. and makin dekat masa mati kita kan? so better be prepared<<

sorry that I am not yet a doctor

2011-12-23T02:49:00.002+08:00

Dia menangis. What should I do? I need a miracle, so that she feels better.

Dia menangis lagi. And she has gotten worse. The rashes they grew a lot more. Now she can't walk properly.

The blisters gone watery. And it troublesome her. She can't attend lectures, it has been a week. Been to see the dermatologist twice but nothing works.

And it is worst, when I can't do absolutely nothing to comfort her. She cries, and I sit here....

Ya Allah! Please save my friend. Let her regain her health.

postcard

2011-12-20T01:01:00.001+08:00

maaf to the friends who feel like I have neglected them,

maaf if I seem like I don't care,

while deep inside, I don't feel alone when I think of you.

I have postcards here with me,

To tell you how much I care and love.

And how much I would like to have you here right by my side.

>>p/s: missing the grenade girls like crazy<<

Homenculus

2011-12-18T14:01:00.001+08:00

Medicine always involves arts. And they are always too artistic.

Do you know your brain is the 'leader' for most of your body functions?

Currently, in the mode of learning all about the brain, and its colonies like the cerebellum, pons, medulla oblongata, the midbrain and what not the spinal cord.

And do you know that the spinal cord is much more like a long octopus? Well, it looks like an octopus to me, and it's actually very soft. Despite its softness, the spinal cord is also a major part in providing routes for the ascending and descending tracts of our nerve fibers to the cerebral cortex. And yes, cerebral cortex is at the cerebrum. And we have another baby brain called the cerebellum, just behind the pons and medulla oblongata.

And for the pain and touch sensation, we have this tract called ascending tract which ascend to the sensory HOMENCULUS of the cerebral cortex. Here is the beauty and magnificence of the brain where the nerve fibers travel via the ascending tract as Lateral Spinothalamic Tract, ascend to the last destination; the sensory homenculus. But what is HOMENCULUS that I am bragging about right now??

Sensory homenculus is an area, which resembles the part of the body in an upside down manner. Like what you can see in the above picture. The upper/anterior brain resembles your genitals then the most posterior or the part below resembles your viscera and upper body parts like pharynx. So lets say you prick the finger region on the homenculus, then the pain sensation is felt on the finger. Magic isn't it? This is what you call the magnificence of the brain. This part is also called the Muller's Doctrine of Sensory Nerve Energies. Hah, amek kau! :D

Oh, I would like to mention about the law of projection too. (Tetibe mood rajin)

Happiness is somehow a mindset

So the law of projection lies closely with the route of sensation. Let say one person is now amputated. He has no foot now. But then he said to his friend he felt itchness on his toes and foot, is this normal? Yes. This is what we call the law of projection, where the sensation of the same place along the similar nerve route will be felt even though the original place where the sensation has to be felt is no longer exist. This is mainly because the nerve now has been exposed. That causes the itchness.

Well, folks...that's all for today. I was about to write about Mumbai. But then again, the travelogue plan is now 'amputated' because no good photos to show. People will only read travelogue with photos not merely long sentences which will make everybody puke. So long people. I got so many things to cover. It's sad to be a fast-catch up kid but an easily-forgotten student. Everything is very volatile for me T.T

>>p/s: Dapat B to bodoh sangat ke? <<

Jeng 3x

2011-12-13T19:39:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah, now I am in the second stage of year 1 at USM-KLE. Been occuppied with the Selanjar 1 or the Continuous Assessment One which was of utmost important for the past 1 month and then I can happily bid farewell to Mumbai or formally known as Bombay.

Yesterday, the freaking result has come out. It was merely an okay result with no reason to cry either because it's too good or too bad. I would say I am in the middle. Seeing how my lousy effort had bring me to somewhat a comfort zone, I must now work harder as well as smarter to get things really like what I targeted for. But, Hey! It's not foundation anymore where I would get scared if the result won't turn out good and lead me to the misery of not being offered to medicine. Even if you get C as long as you don't fail which you get marks lower than 50%, you are already in the safe zone (not comfort). Medical school is all about being able to proceed to the proceeding years, but of course it would be superbly better if we can achieve distinction, right?

For myself to get a distinction, I need a quite, near to the beach resort where I can study without distractions either from the night meetings and other things. I also need more time. Thus, it's a drench for a slow pickup like me to get distinction like most of the ex-PASUM mates I have here.

To be frank, I am jealous. Those who got distinction or A in other words are kinds of person you would adore. One of them is a cheorographer, another is a brilliant singer, a keyboard-ist, a clown class and the list of amazing talented people they are. Sigh....for one moment, I feel like nobody.

Haha. But, life goes on. The battle has just started. I shall not fall.

Existence

2011-11-28T03:21:00.001+08:00

I lost followers and readers. Perhaps they are of the same persons.

Nevermind then, I will just continue typing till I am no existence.

Exam this Tuesday.

Hooray on Thursday, exam ends:)

Mumbai, InsyaAllah.

Till Saturday, then 10 hours journey back to Belgaum.

Community Service Placement.

Start the new block for nervous system.

Azyan Amani's note and doa for upcoming exam:

'Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku aku pertaruhkan apa yang telah Kau ajarkan kepadaku, maka kembalikanlah semula kepadaku ketika aku memerlukannya dan janganlah Kau buat aku melupainya'..

>>ps: a rough idea on how my life gonna be, in the next 1 to 2 months<<

2 months and miscellaneous

2011-11-26T13:44:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum :)

It's 11 a.m and I haven't start revising what I planned to revise last night. My room mate said that it's impossible to cover everything since we only have like 2 days left to burn the midnight chill. She gonna do spotting questions. But, spotting only helps during the secondary education days. Sigh.

The route to the beautiful mini forest :3

Anyhow, it's enjoyable to see how these trees swaying following the rhythm of the chilling wind that blown all over Nehru Nagar, Belgaum, Karnataka, India. Yes people, I am not living in the suburban place like Bangalore. I am living on a state which is already blending in my blood and I enjoy adapting to the places. Sadly, I haven't had this good Hindi proficiency yet, which is quite troublesome when we go shopping. Even the Kannada dialect is also a tough one to get through. Still, I missed learning Ruskee. And I feel Ruskee is easier even though we need to memorize all the Crylic letters.

Capati and chicken. Common lunch :3

I am happy to announce that it's winter now. It's so chilling but according to the seniors last year's is more chilling. However, I am happy enough to not to sweat. This conducive surrounding let me be study well and sleep soundly like a baby. How blessed I am to be sent here. Nikmat :)

the ultimate chicken cheese sandwich at 45 rupee

2 months have I stand on this Belgaum land. A place where I never had expected to come, what not to study. But I am loving it. I like talking and chit chatting with the manager at our cafe down the hostel. His name is Umesh, who is so friendly, and he's currently taking his Master degree in Sociology. Another manager was here, named Firdhous, a Muslim Lady. But now she quited and joined a school as a teacher. Miss her though.

the biochemistry

Selanjar One denotes the first battle as in my previous post. 50 minutes for short essay question, 1 hour for 40 true false questions and 1 hour for slide spot assessment. But there are three big important topics to cover. The irony of being in medical school, but this is the challenge, and I am loving it too. Why is the duration so short? Because doctors aren't supposed to have a long time to think and making decision. They had the shortest limit of time to do all the best they can according to their professionalism and intelligence.

planning to travel after selanjar. InsyaAllah

Hearing many seniors failed this first battle somehow terrifies the heck out of me. However, with all the harsh preps like what I posted earlier, InsyAALLAH everything will be fine :) Let's pray together:)

My Mom's note on the upcoming exam:

companions. most of the time. literally

1. Recite Al Fatihah 7x
2. Selawat Nabi 7 x
3. SubhanALLAH 44 x
4. ALLAHUAKBAR 44 x
5. Ya Hoyyu Qayyum 21 x

Je Pun la sangat.

>>p/s: - ‎"Maka, apabila kamu telah membulatkan tekad (berusaha), maka bertawakkallah kepada Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mencintai orang-orang yang bertawakkal" (3:159) - Just a sharing thought. May Allah ease everything for us, InsyAllah :) - lovely thought from friend and sis Adibah Rahman USM-KLE <<

The harsh prep

2011-11-24T01:38:00.001+08:00

Fine. It's only Selanjar 1 babe, but I am exhausted already. Maybe there isn't much time to have for myself, enough time to rejuvenate or no time to go freshen up the mind. One word: Tiresome.

This is what you call it the cruelty of being a medical student, even though I am just a mere first year for God sake. I am under knowledgeable, and very perishable. I need guidance, yet I feel so alone, even though every time I mingled a lot with my room mate. She's the only person I can trust, I feel comfortable with in anyway but somehow I need more companions, like a group of friends, similar to what I had before while in UiTM. Sadly, it just feels lonely here. Haih.

More companion means a better study surrounding will I have. With 4 blocks to cover in just this short period of study week, I will go insane. If there were more people who I can discuss with, the faster will my prep goes. But this is not the case, unfortunately. I made notes, but then it became too slow to cover 3 topics in one night. Plus, to make things worst, I can only study at night. I will only sleep in the afternoon :'(

Luckily, the lecturers here worked hard to make us in the mind set of examination where we have end block test at the very end of each block we learned. It is conducted in a similar way to the real Selanjar/Continuous Assessment, and USM KK doesn't have this kind of act. Plus, lately we had this Mock SSA (Spot Slide Assessment) where various slides are put in the Sony TV and we have to identify all the blanks on them. No one scored good in the mock test, except for this one Chinese friend, named Gan. Jelly moment was there :P

But too much prep make this head heavier. Just today, half of us were needed to do the spot histo slide identification test.There were more than 40 slides and we have to identify what is each of them, each given 1 minute and a half. It was crazy!! I can only identify skin (thick and thin). Arghhh

Things aren't gone right either. The lunch and dinner at Mess tasted worse day to day. We ate chicken, but it taste like puke most of the time. I am bored with the food already. Plus, tomorrow, our deputy dean who kindly enough to stay alone here, to accompany us at USM KLE, will conduct a revision class at his house. This is again one of the many benefit of being the student of USMKLE. (BANGGA 2X)

>>p/s: Till then. I am not in a good mood. Study is the only 'expertise' I have. Unfortunately, I kind of loosing the tract. Ya Allah, bring me peace and strength.<<

The first battle is looming

2011-11-21T15:49:00.001+08:00

Selanjar One as they called it. Don't know why it is that way. But it simply tells us, me exactly, that the first assessment, an important one is going to be conducted next week. Hooray!

Finished the musculoskeletal block. Not everything comes right to the memory box. Even though, at a glance, I am sure I know exactly where is Sartorius and Piriformis, but then I always mixed up between many other muscles. Every fossa we have to remember, the cubital and popliteal. Also the nerves and arteries come in between. Thank god that we are not being emphasised on the facial muscles and their nerves. If not sure, I become a zombie.

Not just the fossae, but then comes the joints, elbow and knee joints. Screwed if the muscles we can't remember. But sometimes, the diagram or the illustration is so confusing. And yes, it's medicine, so why am I complaining. It should be well understood, that human body is confusing. What we see in atlas is not the similar thing we see in the dissected cadaver.

I like learning on the abdomen. Just last week I now knew that to treat inguinal hernia, for the direct case of inguinal hernia, which you can see there's like one pouch protruding on the lower abdomen. It's not by cutting, or removing the whole hernia. Professor KO, the eldest professor for anatomy told me, we have to somehow push the hernia so that it can fit again into the abdomen. If we cut it, we are actually messing with the abdomen and creating a hole. Just imagine your abdomen is punctured? Yeah it would be like that. Woha! (Sorry for my ignorance)

Anyhow, on last Friday, the end block assessment was held. The whole second batch was seated at the exam hall and made it feels like already the final exam. The questions were confusing, tough, tiring, tricky and you named it. For biochemistry, mostly would just say, OH SHOOT WHAT IS THIS??! Same goes to me eventually :'(

and I want to graduate so badly. amin..

Okay. So I almost spent half of the day going to and fro and haven't start the real revision. OH NO!

>>pray for me, and I'll pray hard for myself. I must not fail this. I will give my best. YEAH"!<<

Loving Architecture

2011-11-17T01:13:00.001+08:00

So interesting.

maybe I should enter architecture school instead?

Hmpphh....

A concert

2011-11-16T21:29:00.001+08:00

This beautiful princess is gonna give a speech for her kindergarten's concert. Can't wait to see how she goes. hehehe.

mesmerizing as always

>>p/s: intense is now starting to blazing inside<<

Tengkuk

2011-11-16T01:04:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum. It's late at night and I crave to post something. So let me be.

Humans eat neck. As in chicken necks. Malaysian, or let me emphasized on malays, do eat necks as in soups, curry, and you named it. I hate necks. Not only that I won't get much of the muscles...eh I mean meat from it, but it is so troublesome to indulge unlike when you eat a drumstick.

And so one day, while discussing with a friend named Rashdan, I got this new information, well for me it's new, about eating necks. Eating necks are bad for males. Why? I don't know. I have to continue doing research on this. Too bad exam is on friday. Dayummn.

Plus, I also came to know that chicken wings are bad for women. Still I have to search for the answer. Rashdan only gave me the trivia. Shoot. So, while I am writing/typing this post on necks, I had just finished my anatomical study on necks. Now I know there are posterior and anterior part of the neck. Okayyy...

To cut this post short as I am still dwelling on Neuromuscular Transmission and wanting to make my coffee before the heated water cools down, posterior part of the neck are further divided into two triangles. Major one is occipital triangle and the minor is the SUPRACLAVICULAR triangle. So, that's the names.

Tengkuk in anatomical view.

Just now, we had MDL. It is just like the similar lecture we had in lecture hall but more effective lecture sessions held in the Sony TV labs, whereby that time the lecture was on this posterior side of the necks, and their contents bla-bla-bla...I focused, but I think most of my mind was in New York already that I mistaken SUPRACLAVICULAR triangle with cervical triangle. And so, I continued noting it down as cervical triangle, drew the diagram and etc like any other nerdies would do.

Soon, when the lecture on it finished, it's time to grab any anatomy lecturers you wanted, and asked them anything where you have doubts. So yeah, I had this doubt on the contents of 'Cervical Triangle'. Note that, cervical triangle doesn't exist. I made it all up. It was on my mind. I asked the lecturer then. With tonnes of other students surrounded us. "Sir, can you explain on cervical triangle's contents please?"

HAHAHA. The lecturer went bizarred. He didn't know any triangles by that name. And yes, I went home ashamed of myself, knowing that I had wrongly named the triangle. HAHAHARARARAR.

>>p/s: Moral of the story, read thoroughly again and again....and make sure you don't 'fly' to New York while lecture in progress. Lol<<

Easier said, than reality

2011-11-13T14:25:00.001+08:00

Dr Pagal is the most popular doctor nowadays in the cyber world. His articles complain and mocking about the real scenario of Malaysia's health care system. I understand how he is being sane to care about the matters that patients would be killed by upcoming low specialized doctors. I also have this goosebumps when reading the matter on private hospitals. When working at private, you are not bonded and not straight away being gazetted as the hospital's practitioner thus can make you lotsa cash but it depends on how many patients you are treating and how much you charge for your service. It is just merely like you rent a room in that hospital and everything must be done on your own.

This again made me give a long sigh. Why oh why? The reality is superbly bitter but at least I know the truth now. Back to the point I am gonna brag, about last week, the Director of MMC and some of the MMC officers who are also doctors, came to visit us, at USM KLE. I was like WOHA! Super WOHA! When they just sat about less than 2 meters in front of me. (I am a front bencher, so yeah :p)

Mainly, to start up with, their objective is to see whether USM KLE medical school can equip our next junior students, which will inshaAllah be 100 in number. I must say that, the staves did quite a good job in ensuring the campus looks good from roof to floor. Even the musical fountain was beautifully turned on. Anyhow, they also came to ask us randomly, on our progression. Like how the studies went on, how we manage to fit in into the community, how's the food and what have we studies, plus one cepumas question on how does the integrated curiculum works. Well, I must say, up till now, I myself, quiet have this zero understanding on that curiculum. Lol.

I think most of us, or those lucky ones who had been asked, were giving basic, expected answers to the questions like 'Yeah, we are doing incredibly fine here, The lecturers are good, the food is nice, adaptable and etc...only one guy who was asked on anatomy and a bit on the integrated curicullum thingy was unexpected. I bet the officers and the director had already assumed what we are going to answer. Haha.

Just that, during interacting session, the MMC gave us a slight highlight of how it works to work in the government. Before this, I knew it's 2 years housemanship, than another 4 years of MO, but then they said, it's one year for housemanship? For real? About postgraduate (PG), two ways how it works, firstly, after completing housemanship, would only then the fresh graduates are now assigned as true doctors. They can apply for either options: 1. to bond with government for 7 years after completing PG, on conditioned, obtain the scholarship from the government as well as the wage/payment or gaji as an MO. And second option is that one could apply for a PG scheme, with no bound and no scholarship, but wage/payment still runs, and pay school fees with that money. I forgot the other option, I mean the without payment scheme.

Well, it seems and heard so simple from their mouths. With doctors are about to glut, or already glutting, a place to do specialization is no way as simple as that. One must have good reputation in their housemanship, good skills and etc. It is just like entering another medical school again, where you have to go all out or be all out just to specialize in a particular field. Plus, with numerous rivalries, no one can ensure that one doctor could go for the specialization he or she really wants to go for. It's luck again playing on the doctors.

As for me, I just think that everything is depending on the future that Allah holds. Who knows we really need more doctors in the future. Things can change. Prediction is just predictions. And plus, now that I am here, it's a no way out for me to turn back. We are now considered baby doctors in the making to grow. Even first year is hard enough, what not the other years to come. But this is life like I wanted before, so I am living with it. I also asked some questions, regarding working in a refugee camp and also on the posting to Borneo. MMC told me that those who are posted to the Borneo are put under priority for PG scholarships. They also said we are too young/too fragile to ask about working in a refugee camps as well as going for PG. Maybe because we haven't finished our first year? Probably...

Anyhow, it was a pleasure having them around all the way from Malaysia. Hope that everything goes on smoothly for this offshore campus to be on the map and for everyone to start noticing.

>>p/s: Perfectly fine means so many things to endeavour. This is what we call the medical world of misery<<

Rezeki di Eidul Adha

2011-11-13T01:34:00.001+08:00

People in India called it Bakrid. We here had a splendid one. Even though, the smiles of the family members are still what we are craving for. Alhamdulillah that everything went fine.

Also Bakrid means a lot to me this time. Miles away from my home is one thing. Not to get to eat my mom's beef dishes is another and staying at the hostel for some kiasu moment is the highlighter.

Today, alhamduLILLAH. Another nikmat. Thanks Allah :')

weeee:)))

A multi purpose cooker. Maybe something that I need so that I can cook the 1 kg beef I have in my friend's fridge. Thanks to auntie zam for her kindness....only Allah could repay her kindness:)

>>p/s: The dean will return to Belgaum along with the exam questions paper...The first selanjar...USM called the test Selanjar. And every selanjar is so important<<

Loner Ranger

2011-11-12T19:11:00.001+08:00

Yes. I am a lonely ranger. A loner ranger. Oh man. Today is the most hiatus and the most kiasu day I have ever accounted. Woke up in the late morning. Gushing to the bathroom. Subuh. Then, went to other girls' room next to my room. Asked and chatted about their trip to mumbai. Nothing really. Hearing experiences is not similar to FEEL the experience.

Returned to the room. Roommate was happily reading a novel on Gelak Tergolek whilst laughing and rolling on her bed. I switched on the laptop. Went online. Gahhh...another boredom. Nothing to look through. No interesting wall posts, no interesting blog posts.

Hmmmph. Continue with Chaurasia. Reading on axillary artery. Boredom. How can we learn anatomy through merely words and long sentences? Arghhh. Thus, by 10, I saw my bed. It was calling me. Hence, I fell deep asleep.

Waking up again. Thanking god for waking up not to miss Zuhur. After prayers, went to the pantry, make my instant macaroni and cheese which cost me around RM1. Sadly though, with no cooker, and with just plain hot water, macaroni and cheese turned awful. And that what I ate.

Emmm.....now....looking at my mug full of ants...after drinking some minute maid orange juice. What a life!

Saree in India

2011-11-10T14:33:00.001+08:00

Amazed by how these Indian women wrap theirselves in long piece of clothes without stiching, and voila...a Saree is beautifully placed on their bodies. I want to wear it too so badly though, but it would be ugly on me. Eh no! I would make it looks ugly. So, we asked one lady at a saree shop to demonstrate. Check it out!

salam aidiladha

2011-11-06T01:20:00.000+08:00

It sounds like a celebration is going on outside. But it almost quarter to 11 pm and I am super duper tired. Wanna sleep so bad after a tiring day of dissection and engulfing with dead man's fat and muscles. Also, the brain is exhausted because of too many facts and muscles names including the veins and arteries on one go. How I wish this could stop...

Even to break my fast is tiring. Ate at a hotel and eat till bloated then again tired. Maybe my heart is tired too...macam mana nak jadi doktor ni? Asyik lesu je...aiseehh...so that's why tomorrow, we here at USMKLE will be withdrawn by an activity called explorace. I need to memorize some ayat from Maathurat which I still haven't. God please give me good memory...and yes, now I wanna sleep but still I haven't my heart is longing for my family...

Tired mind, tired heart, bloated stomach and irregular emotions are all around my plexus. So, I hope this one week off for Bakrid/Aidiladha, would freshen me up from these kekacauan jiwa..

Again, from me, all the way from Belgaum, the city that will make us survive and not just live....selamat menyambut aidiladha. And appreciate your family if you are with them while celebrating it. :)

Riding and shopping

2011-11-03T23:24:00.000+08:00

The best way to go shopping is no way by cab nor LRT or KTM. We usually go out of this hostel, and took some time wandering to the nearest shopping spot called Maruthi Gali via AUTO...or they called it OTO. A modified motorcycled with 4 seats at the back.

Depends on whether you look rich or vice versa, you will get the best rate as best as 40 rupees per ride...but sometimes it depends on the distance. Here I have a video which I lamely captured almost two weeks ago. So, just watch it and enjoy:)

Comfort

2011-11-03T03:03:00.001+08:00

Thanks Allah for the comfort you pour on me and my other 82 friends plus 44 seniors. Living within this fantastic building is luxury. We can't even get this in Malaysia for the truth sake. Unfortunately, this would be temporary. All USM KLE students have to move out from this strategic place to the new, 5 star hostel complex which is still under renovation.

But some of my friends and I have visited the new hostel. Rumours have it that we can move to that building in a month. However, that would be super impossible because there are tonnes more to be completed by the contractors and engineers to make it safe for us to sleep in that hostels.

Knowing that I will leave this beautiful and comfortable room, make me feel somehow sad again. No more beautiful scenery, no more big balcony and super great interiors. Bye-bye NRI hostel....

>>P/S: feeling like a dwarf here at USMKLE. these colleagues of mine are so talented, so brilliant, how can I be on the stage's center...?<<

Anatomy is FUN!

2011-11-01T23:52:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum people !

Just feel a little better after feeling some sickness because the broadband turned into berukband. Luckily, after some persuasive actions done to Sachin, a worker at Tata Docomo, I finally can use this berukband to go online. And to live in India, patience would be your greatest alliance.

Buying broadband after a month here is a must since wireless connection is no way to access. Moreover, living on the highest floor, despite having this beautiful scenery outside the window and a big balcony, I face problems to have good connection, whether it is phone line or Internet.

Scratch that by the way. What I am gonna brag about is on anatomy. Bought two thick books of anatomy atlas. I am in love with one of the book from Thieme which also comes with this amazing helpful flashcard and makes anatomy on the go! And what made me please living here, is that the medical books can be bought at a much cheaper rate compared to Malaysia. I have been telling about that a lot of times in this blog but that's the reasons why we here at USM KLE has no reason to fail. Speaking about failure, I am so freaking scared when to note that First Selanjar is looming in two more weeks.

burning the midnight oil with Thieme!

say hi to your long and short head of braceps brachii

Currently, what I can remember is those shoulder girdles anatomical terms. The scapula and clavicle are the common ones, then we need to know all the processes and which part is the sternal and acromial part as for clavicle. Subclavius groove, attachment for the trapezius, sternocleidomastoid muscles, the costoclavicular ligaments, the corocoid and the acromion processes and the various other muscles that help in abduction and adduction and more anatomical terms which will make one first year medical student feels on the air when he or she already know most of the terms without realising we have more to learn, the lower limbs, the skull and list goes on.

tak pernah kubayang pentingnya seni....

Dissection class is certainly priceless when you have a good lecturer cum guidance to lead you through all those wet, formalin-soaked muscles and nerves and arteries. Going layer by layer, it is intriguing to know how Allah has made human into its best formation. To differentiate between arteries and nerves are quite difficult for me. Adding to the fact that, I cannot remember which nerves belongs to which cords. And every muscle has its own nerve and blood supply. One thing I can laugh about is to see how the boys in my dissection group who looks absolutely terrified because we are the only group handling a female cadaver. But, it's scary to see how amazing their heads are when it comes to remember all the parts. As for me, anatomy is like what a lot of lecturers said, it is a VOLATILE subject. In a minute, it is as if you know almost everything you learned. Once you wake up the next day, you can't even recall one of the muscles. O Allah! The MOST MERCIFUL, please give me the power of good memory.

One man selling ABC....dare to try?

Selamat Tinggal Tuan Nordin, merangkap cikgu BM paling cool dan paling penyabar:)

Also today marks the end of BM class after several holidays been occupied with it. To be frank, BM class is boring, but I start to miss Tuan Nordin already. For the last class, we had this essay test, to write a complete essay of 500-600 words. I by eccentrically, wrote about 1000 words and I hope he oversees it. See you again Tuan Nordin. In Malaysia that is. And please don't make me repeat the class next year:(

Plus, there is no reason to fail because almost every week, there will be another demonstration in the lab on the anatomical parts one has learned here. Laboratory installed with almost 20 LCD Sony TV is another benefits students at USM-KLE will get to feel. There's no need to slide in crowds of people to see how the demonstrations by the lecturers held in front. One can just sit and relax while watching the boring demo on the TV screen. Trust me when I said, most of the times, students will only go snoozing and let the TV watch them.

Thus, till here will I write for this time round. I am glad to have Internet back. Looking forward for another 'active' post even though I need more time to revise. But what can I conclude here is that, it feels nice learning anatomy because I feel more like a medical student. Biochemistry will only explode my head out and physiology is what I always love since Premed.

>>P/S: Getting bored with the food here. I wanna drink fresh juices!!....and I think cooking in the hostel is totally tiresome<<

Throw Dirt on my own face

2011-10-27T14:26:00.000+08:00

Today, Belgaum is freezing cold. And cold without snow seems empty....but I know that snow isn't something to be happy about. I am in love with this climate! Every time, I go outside, to the man made park near the library, it feels so soothing. How bless am I to be sent here? This is certainly priceless.

jamuan raya terbaik!

among the cadavers we have here

Fireworks mania was our main activity last night. What to expect when Diwali appears? I can only tell last night was happening, and the food was okay even though I almost throw up, but adapting is something we humans must try to do.

saje nak tunjuk kain cantik kat india LOL

To some extend, fun is fun, but work is still work. Being a medical student is like we are not students, but are doctors in the training. Therefore, as USM student, I have to bear with all its requirement to score or to over through this route with extended BM classes from morn and continues till 5 pm even though today is meant for Diwali holiday. And to not disheartened the very kind Tuan Nordin for flying far away from Kubang Kerian to Belgaum, we still push ourselves to attend these classes.

Got forum to be done. Still, the progress is still off. Due to Bangalore trip for the convention last week, I missed two important lectures and one dissection class. It feels so sad of not being able to cover those missing lectures since I have no spare time. What a mess have I done.

However, I am glad to finish up Histological drawings. YEY....and now more works is piling up...let's start doing them!

>>p/s: condolences to USMKLE's Student President, Mohd Fauzie or Pojie for the loss of his beloved father. Al Fatihah<<

1 month in Belgaum

2011-10-26T03:00:00.001+08:00

Been seeking for some time to blog. Seriously miss blogging. But I have to sacrifice between what is priority and what is desire. At last, my heart goes for desire. Actually, just bought this broadband Tata Docomo which can be described as the most expensive brand there are in Belgaum's market. I need it to do Internet research and it is my initial and usual habit to study with the laptop turning on till blazing hot and Internet access is there for sure.

To study here in a destiny and holding the people's money while buying stuff for my desire is such a pathetic thing to do. I had planned to close my wallet and lock it but I couldn't. A lot of thing to buy here because everything seems like needs and not desire. Do you get me?

Frankly speaking, I feel guilty for not being able to be a responsible blogger by mentioning about my EXACT routine as USM-KLE first year student, but time envies me. I am in a race with it. Especially when you are in a medical field, even first year seems so hectic.

Going to Bangalore for leadership convention was a bittersweet decision. It was between desire and need. Desire to get to explore and travel to Bangalore and at the same time the need for this soul to get out of this hectic USM-KLE.

Seriously, the 3 days stay at Mount View Resort at Bangalore was worth it. Especially when one gets to stay in a honeymoon suite. Also, worth the 10 hours journey from Belgaum, but sadly, works start to piling up. Everything is a mess now, really. And sometimes I ponder why did I engulf myself to this route. I am gonna be a phantom!

Imagine tomorrow supposedly Diwali is gonna be celebrated, but I have classes to attend till half of the day is gone. SGD questions on biochem have been touched a bit but my plan to finish it up was merely plain plan. Histological drawings of cells is still on progress and I couldn't find any end to this. I need a break! And trust me - first year here means no break.

I am in a mess situation and envying my colleagues who already got time to make short notes or mind maps. I also envy those colleagues graduated from KMB to have survive in the world of sleepless nights. Clap-clap to them. In the mean time, I feel my brain is gonna explode. The fear of failure here is indeed worrisome. FAIL means go back to Malaysia and say bye to your dream MD degree. Plus, to achieve the target for distinction is like a dream in a fairytale. It is not impossible, it just seems so unreal....at least for now.

Shoulder and Pectoral region, Brachial Plexus and metabolism for fuel of muscles and etc etc, how I wish I were KYLE XY to memorize and remember all those terms and facts. Another thing that one should fear about medicine is everything is fact, once you get one wrong, the linkage to it is completely insane and WRONG.

>>P/S: mama dah pesan medic susah, and I do feel sometimes it's not my thing, but when I wake up, HEY, What do you expect, it's medicine for godsake!<<

Spare time

2011-10-17T15:49:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum

Today marks another beginning of a NEW block/topic for my first year as a medical student. It is on the MUSCULOSKELETAL BLOCK.

Meaning last week is the end of the Cell and Tissue block which is super duper hard for me. The end block test was a disaster. Focusing on the hard topics but what came out was out of expectation. I should have bear in mind that everything in life is unexpected. However, no use of crying out blood by now. Things had happened.

For anatomy, I think I have quite a big love for bones and structures of them. It intrigued me a lot unlike remembering the properties of Amino Acid and Nucleic Acids. Sadly, last week, while other students have already dig their hands in to dissect the cadavers, my group (the only group with a FEMALE CADAVER)m, hasn't actually try on those blades to cut open the poor body. But we had fun learning some terms like epiphisis and diaphisis as well as other term like haversion canal. Things that I can remember of course. Biochemistry, on the other hand, is something which I have to create fond with. The book recommended which I am using now is not exactly a good book which I can refer to. And of course, here, there's time constraint to focus on those thicks books which stand erectly arranged in my room. Beautifully untouched. And I blamed time for being too fast.

Malaysian Night

Apart from the great studying moments, we as overseas students also get this opportunity joining one gathering of Malaysian students around Belgaum. One of the events is Malaysian Night. USM-KLE is the host and we performed 2 shows for the night which were awesome. Here, I am so amazed by some of the colleagues who are so artistic. They can sing, they can dance so beautifully and play instruments. Our team won the performance competition. Did I mentioned I joined dancing? It is plainly just for fun and to fulfill the emptiness.

Trinity 2011

This is an intercollegiate event where students of JNMC as well as other students from Karnataka or Belgaum I think, participate in various events including, competitions like Battle of The Bands, Football, Arts, and many more. USM-KLE's students like Adib and Aidil Yusof both won the best basis and best drummer award. Isn't these arouse jealousy? Who says medical students just know medical terms? They can also play music and rock the stage. And it's a pleasure even though I can't join because I am untalented, seeing them winning those things among many other talented students here, make me proud to be part of them! WOAHH

So only yesterday, MARA had also came here to see how their sponsor students are doing. Mainly, we are doing fine. Hostel is comfy, food is lavish and what else I could describe? Our safety is well keep as we have our own Malaysian's dean here, Prof KJ, so that's is among the privilege of becoming a USMKLE Student.

Over a month have I been here. Staying here is alright. All cosy and chilling. Some places are dirty and noisy and that's India. A place where you are not going to grow alive but to grow surviving. I am praying hard so that I will excell in my phase 1 and could attend phase 2 and the other phases up to the end with strength and smoothly finish all this then get married. OOps, I mean work and serve for the people. (lame phrases but whatever)

Sorry for no photos like what you have seen in many of other blogs. I have no good time to spare to upload them. Will steal some pictures from friends FB page. MUAHAHHAHA.

>>p/s: must buy a camera now. Cepatlah tahun depan bulan 7!<<

Maybe some other time

2011-09-19T19:23:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum....I wanna brag that I really miss blogging. Internet is not a bless here to be accessible, especially at the hostel. But, on the bright sides of it, I have time more to sleep, to tidy up my room, to enjoy the sceneries of Belgaum, India and other things I usually miss when Internet was my closest buddy.

Plus, there are things which restricts me to blog. One of them, is internet of course, other one would be the humane ethic and feelings of sentient towards my dear 21 friends who are still stranded at USM Kubang Kerian. I must say, the way MMC managed things is vulgarly done. Pity for those who volunteered to stay and more pitiful for those who were 'destined' by one small paper written 'STAY' on that very day of 8th September 2011.

I am sad that a friend named Darina isn't here. But perhaps, Allah has a better plan for her and also the others. Sorry to all of them, I don't know of any more words to console you. The more I say, the more hurt you will become, I know that. Just remember, for whatever that happened, things happened for a hidden reason. And only Allah could answer that. My prayer would be, SABAR.

Good things recently happened. One of them is that I get this nice room I wanna share with Darina. But last week, the hostel management staff took away the mattress beside me that was gonna be Darina's place. They took it without my notice and I was so shocked. I was later asked to move to another single bedded room which the location I disliked due to bad window view and too close to the boys' hostels. Alhamdulillah, things has settled. I got a room mate now and thus staying in that beautiful room for another 6 or 8 months.

I have seen the room for the new hostel which is still under construction. The room is quite small but cosy not fully finished. I doubt that it could be fully finished by another 6 months though. Plus, arriving at a new place isn't as easy as one could think. I don't know why they said here everything is cheap because trust me it's not. They have the almost standard malaysian price for electrical appliances. Plastics appliances are so expensive here. But medical books are of heaven! So cheap! I bought a thick Guyton and Hall book of Medical Physiology at INR 1450. Just revert to RM by dividing this with 15.

Oops got to go.....will be posting later :)

India: Hiatus for a while.

2011-09-16T16:50:00.000+08:00

Nak update blog tapi internet kat bilik tak boleh access

Nak update blog tapi laptop sendiri dah merajuk...

Nak update blog tapi takut kawan-kawan kat USM Kelantan cemburu...

Tapi nak update juga...aishhh..dilemma

Syukur kerana tak cantik

2011-09-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

One day, at beloved kampung, mom and I were getting ready for an open house at Pak Tam's. We were standing in front of the mirror. Fixing our tudung and wearing some bits of powder etc, for of course to look good. Every woman wanna look good during raya. Just agree on this LADIES!

"Mama....I look fat in this outfit...arghh geram" said me

"Ah..yeah...I noticed. Too much food I supposed. Biasalaah raya kan....lepas ni diet ler" said mom..being honest

"Arghhh...hate this..." I replied

"But remember. Being pretty is not good too for someone. Boleh timbul riak. Look at your sister" my mom added.

"So you should be grateful not being that pretty. It's good to be just normal as you are. So you won't be riak" she continued.

I admit I am jealous to see pretty ladies. I am even jealous at my sister. And that's bad. But then again, being just pretty in the face and on the outside when actually the inside is rusty, is worst than everything.

>>>p/s: kecantikan rupa paras bonus. ada yang cantik luaran dan dalaman. ada yang setakat fizikal sahaja. well, not that I am not grateful being ME...but humans do face jealousy most of the time. And not that my sister is just beautiful on the outside, she is kind and beautiful inside out, but sometimes she annoys us by being annoying. Mengada lebih....and I think that's normal for a pre-mature teenage girl <<<

Oh it's the most touching Raya

2011-09-03T14:03:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum and salam merdeka raya people! So it's fifth day of Raya already, how fast eh? And in two days time, it's the day to register as a degree student. Freaking nervous I tell ya...

For me, 2011's raya is the most touching raya. It's the day where we as family gather round and chit chatting non-stop and eating non-stop...and also, it's the occasion when my family finally now, knew that I will be boarding off to India this upcoming Friday.

I was lucky that I wasn't asked to give a speech like how my cousin did last year. But I was touched when we all prayed for my safety. And the words of spirits I received from dear cousins, their spouses and aunts and uncles. Mak teh's house was our first destination for every raya, and even though not all of our families were there to gather around, it's still fun.

Plus, duit raya tahun ni pun banyak. Hehehe. But no exact figure will I brag right here. Let it be my secret. Hehehe. Going to degree is a good thing after all, eh? hehehehe. Also at Sungai Petani, where my makjang gave me a telekung as a present. It was touching. The telekung symbolized a note and an advice to not forgetting my duty as a muslim, a duty to not forgetting my prayers.

Raya was short this year. But it felt good to see paktam, paklong, and my dear aunty from US aunty Zam, together with Cik Ja, makngah and many more to be mentioned who I only got to see once a year. It was sad to leave Sg Petani...

Salam Eid Fitri from me and family hehehe....:)

only a quarter of the big family :)

cucu mak dara, dan menantu perempuan mak dara :))

cucu lelaki, cicit dan menantu lelaki mak dara :))

Stay

2011-08-29T16:21:00.002+08:00

Have you ever encounter a situation whereby you wish someone would stop you and said to you, PLEASE STAY....? This is what I am feeling right now. To stay. With the family right here which I love the most. And RAYA made it more difficult for me to hide this emotional aura.

This is a catchy song I like, by an indie group called Estrella but they are now silent as a mouse. I found this enthralling when Shila Hamzah did a cover on it. Presenting: STAY...

>>p/s: Enjoy this song, even though I know not many would like it. Ah seriously, too sad to leave the house in a couple of days. <<

Tak Balik Kampung ke???

2011-08-29T00:23:00.004+08:00

Well, Dinas asked me far away from her kampung at Bukit Bla3 I forgot the place already; "Dayana, tak balik kampung?"

Answer:

1. My family and I have never been eager like everybody else I supposed, packing, hurriedly to return to kampung. Maybe yes when I was a little girl, as little as 0- 5 years old. Now, not anymore. Plus, grandparents passed away so long time ago. The cheerfulness brought by atuk nenek is never in my memory box. (saya tak pernah rasa kehadiran datuk...T__T)

2. My dad likes to raya at Kajang first. Maybe because he can takbir with his musolah mates. And there's a reason why my family never enjoyed having iftar at restaurants, because dad simply wanna iftar at musolah besides our house.

3. First raya always at Klang. Been 19 years of my life like that. And luckily, mom never nagged about her turn on returning to Kedah. That's the best part of my parents. Never argue on that silly matter.

4. If you see my not in facebook/twitter/blogging/google+/tumblr then I probably in Kampung already and eat and munch all day long. So don't worry, sorry if I made you bored seeing me every time.

>>p/s: preparations for raya done. NOT. packing to kedah belum lagi. OHHMAAN<<

Vision Aidilfitri 1432H

2011-08-28T22:12:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum and Salam Merdeka Raya to all those who kind enough to open my blog.

Ramadhan for this year is going to end tomorrow. Can you guys believe it? Of course, AlhamduLILLAH for Allah the Almighty for giving us the chance to feel the presence of this blessed month up till now. Let's us all pray that we can meet again for the next ramadhan and the upcoming ones in years to come. I am also eager to see how my blog entry will mature in those years in the future. It's not good to post things over and over without a immense change. Because to be a blogger is easy, everyone can be a blogger, but to be a blogger who can contribute to society and to Islam most importantly, is not easy. I learn this from Hilal Asyraf after reading his book entitled: Batu-bata Kehidupan.

Generally, previous Ramadhan, was more likely to be merrier with Mak Ngah and other aunts visiting us and eat together for Iftar. This time, my aunts are as quite as a mouse. I receive no news about Mak Long and her awesome Pineapple Tart, about Mak Ngah and my cousin Taufiq and even Mak Teh didn't invite my family to her house for Iftar like she always did. So, I have no photos with Khayra. A bit sad though.

However, I bet this raya I must be prepared to answer lotsa questionaires from my relatives. They must be quite perplexed on the fact that I am actually going to pursue studying in India after how busy they knew I was doing Pre-Medicine at UiTM. Basically, at Klang, my family will ask questions sounded:

Why can't you continue at UiTM instead? I thought you were there for the past 2 months right?
- No. That's just plainly PRE-MEDICINE. Not even first year yet.

Boleh ke Dayana ni jadi doctor. Sebab setahu mak teh, Dayana ni senyap aje.
- Yeah, I knew that becoming one, needs to see people everyday, talk to patients like every second. And I admit that in the family, I am among the most quite person. I won't talk if people don't approach me. Thus, this creates doubts in my Mak Teh's mind.

Em, Dengar cerita Dayana ada boyfriend sambung medic kat Ireland...?
-Perghh! This is the most intimidating question and the most annoying one I ever accounted. Hello relatives and family members, Dayana doesn't have any boyfriend at the moment. And that's just a myth for having a boyfriend in Ireland. WTFISH

Are you ready for the toughest time of your live?? - from Abang Saiful
-I think I am. Been heard of this a lot of time already. And I think every doctor-wannabe should face the reality that he or she must withstand this. No pain, No gain.

Eh dulu kata nak pergi Russia? Kenapa India la pulak?
-Em long story....MARA sponsored me to India, so here I go.

These are just some bits I usually try to answer and probably will be trying to answer them again and again. Nevermind actually, these questions that they have about me, symbolize how my family members, aunts, cousins and all of them are indeed love me from the bottom of their heart. AWWWW :)

Oh, this is only the Klang part of the family, I didn't even mention the Kedah's yet. I mean I am more secured at Kedah because my uncle who has been with us for the first week of Ramadhan, already know about this India thing. Plus, my mak lang at Kelantan had been notified as well. They welcome me to their home with an open heart. Even my pak lang, had gave me some advice on how to cope and how to become strong as a medical student. It's easier to confront with these families in Kedah as most of them really understand this career and most are intellectuals. Not that Klang's part are not, but they usually tried hard to understand why suddenly I said I am going to Russia, now India? It's indeed my fault for arousing confusion among them.

But, my Mak Ngah at Kedah, seemed quite shock I mean, quite a BIG shock hearing about India. She even did try to ask why I didn't go to AIMST University at Kedah, near her place. She even nagged to mom, for sending me to India. Well, the bad perception one has for India will never be vanished. People will forever jot India as dirty and filthy. And Russia was once jotted uncivilized? I just hope more people especially the elderly would take their time understand about this matter.

Haha. Sorry for anyone who read this find me exaggerating on this fact about perceptions and people's reactions. Of course, families have their right whatsoever to ask me anything they like. So I must let it be.

Anyhow, I also try to find some good old raya photos, but fail searching. Too many files on the disk. And my eyes already swirling. Selamat Hari Raya Aildilfitri to all my readers and to all Malaysians and to all Muslims. May Syawwal bring happiness and May Ramadhan returns again for many years to come:)

saya tak reti anyam ketupat. tak pernah anyam sebab takde sesiapa pernah ajak buat. macam mana kalau mak mertua suruh anyam nanti? AIGGOOO

&gt;&gt;p/s: Eid Fitr means a celebration as in to celebrate how humans returns to their FITR, or FITRAH, the sacred self of the humans itself, freed from sins, hatred and despises. Let's us forgive each other for this happiness time of our lives&lt;&lt;&lt;

About kad raya and miscellaneous

2011-08-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

What is kad raya? Or better called Aidilfitri cards? Well, they are as simple as greeting cards with some notes on 'Hi, Selamat Hari Raya awak...saya sayang awak' and some forgiving words like 'I susun jari nak minta ampun kat you....kalau ada salah silap' and many other versions of them.

Anyhow, I am frankly jealous of those who got kad raya this year. I mean even till last year I still received one. And no longer this year I supposed. Yeah, a non-popular person like me who would ever wanna send any. Only I am the one eager to send those to people I somehow barely know.

Nevermind Dayana. Tak penting pun kad raya...the most important thing is blessing for Allah for the thoughts you have been giving to those you remember. But still, I still feel sad for not getting any. I blame twitter and facebook for arousing jealousy :P

Miscellaneous will be on the fact that one day I wrote to Maryam, a friend of mine, to give her some rambutan, as a gift since my cousins gave one basket of rambutan. Sadly, after several days, I saw the basket almost empty. My sister is a rambutan monster and I forgot that. So she basically ate most of them. Thus, I have nothing to give to Maryam, but I didn't tell her yet. In return, I wanna make kuih raya instead. Cornflakes madu that is. How lame am I?

Also, I've been procrastinating on 50 % of my packing. I just have so many things to bring with me. And the most idiotic thing I did was buying a packet of BOH tea, even though I knew India has more lotsa tea than here. What a stupid person eh?

Plus, going to TESCO for the last time just now. Perhaps will only be coming to TESCO next year, insyaAllah. TESCO is my most frequent supermarket I've been too and I like most of its products, like tissue paper and Women toiletries.

Still, I forgot to buy some other stuff to pack in my luggage. ZZZZZ.....Why laaa

>>p/s: My papa said to me during Iftar just now: LAGI 2 MINGGU, and less, You will be eating at the same dining table, dena. And he turned my mood to all moody. Thanks dad -.-''<<<<

Simple steps how to wake up a friend who sleep in lecture

2011-08-25T21:57:00.002+08:00

>>>p/s: Only work for those yang tak tidur mati katak<<<

Tentang Dewasa dan Kolej

2011-08-24T02:26:00.003+08:00

Saya agak kehairanan bila ada sesetengah pelajar sekolah takde impian nak masuk kolej atau Universiti. Lebih pelik lagi, impian mereka untuk cari kerja dan lepaskan pelajaran. Saya rasa matlamat tu 'overrated' dan terlalu rakus.

Tapi bila fikir semula, bukan semua manusia ke menara gading berjaya dalam hidup dan bukan semua yang tak masuk Universiti tu 'end up' teruk hidup mereka. Dengan SPM, actually, dah boleh dah cari kerja kat butik-butik antarabangsa, macam Zahra, Adidas, Giorgio Armani, Top Shop dan you name them! Just nail the interview and wear nice of course. Biasanya mereka yang berjaya dapat kerja kat tempat-tempat top class seperti Pavi dan Bangsar ialah golongan yang bergaya sakan. Ala-ala model, or Teenage Vogue. Sorry that I am not. Hanya berjaya dapat kerja kat Secret Recipe, Dome dan sebuah kedai mainan di Gardens. Tapi semuanya ditolak kerana saya betul-betul nak ambil medicine. WOHA!

Saya ada kenalan, seorang trainee manager kat 7 Eleven Kajang Utama, gajinya boleh tahan dalam RM1200 juga dan keuntungan sehari untuk kios Kajang Utama sahaja boleh cecah hampir RM10000 sebulan. Best tak? Anak tauke 7 Eleven lagi best ehehhe. Teman lelaki akak trainee manager ni, seorang supervisor di Butik Guess Pavi (rasanyalah :p), dapat gaji cecah RM3000 jugak sebulan. Kerja rasanya tak susah kut, but mesti pandai dealing with customers and make sure the money is rolling from the sales. Kawan saya, sebaya kerja Dome for 3 months, gaji dekat RM4000 jugak, best tak? But not everyone is calculative.

Lagi-lagi? Pak Jang saya juga ada seorang kenalan sekolah, yang sebenarnya bijak pandai tapi malas nak attend sekolah. Sekarang kenalan beliau tu dah jadi jutawan berpangkat besar lagi, walaupun padahal asalnya bisnes seludup beras daripada Siam, teka siapa kalau pandai? Hehehe....Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar al Bukhary ialah jawapannya. Dan ramai lagi actually, contoh lain paling mudah, Dato Siti Nurhaliza. Ada SPM sahaja, tengoklah beliau sekarang kat mana? HAHAHA.

Anyhow, everything depends on luck and rezeki. Ketentuan Allah kita tak dapat persoalkan. But these days, nak masuk Universiti bukan senang. I mean nak masuk senang, tapi nak dapat course yang kita nak and Universiti pilihan tu sukar sekali. Ini serious!! Harap adik-adik yang hingusan kat luar sana, cubalah betul-betul study smart, especially yang tau mak ayah tak berapa mampu tanggung kos yuran yang mahal.

And also these days, nak secure jalan yang mampu ubah hidup bergantung pada segulung sijil ijazah atau diploma. Ijazah is better, PhD is the best. Bahkan UKM sekarang pun select pensyarah yang ada PhD sahaja. Ingat senang nak jadi pensyarah? Tak senang ye adik-adik. Kerja memang nampak senang. Kemahiran penting juga, contohnya menjahit, memasak, mengukir (eh?), dan apa jua kemahiran pun boleh. Kalau nak dilihat, golongan berpendapatan sederhana di US pun usually sara hidup dengan kemahiran mereka. But seriously, I too lack kemahiran, my best kemahiran right now, according to my mom is bancuh kopi and nescafe and making cornflakes easy honey treats. HEHEHE.

Okay, so back to the point, saya sebenarnya nak cakap dewasa ni susah dan bukannya senang. Dewasa ialah waktunya kita harus tanggung dosa sendiri, berani ambil risiko, berhadapan dengan krisis Peer Pressure and Family Pressure yang bertambah parah, memikirkan soal masa hadapan seperti, dalam 10 tahun akan datang what will I be, if I get married, how many kids I wanna bear?, what house I wanna buy, and kemudian timbul isu kereta la and all sorts of bills. (FUHHHH). Contoh, saya berhadapan dengan situasi menghadapi dewasa yang gerun semasa SPM (PRESSURE GILA) and also waktu JPJ nak dapatkan lesen. Tapi saya fikir ambil lesen lebih payah. Blame me for my lack expertise in skills. I can't even press the clutch right. Sedih tak? Bahkan sampai sekarang saya tiada lesen lagi, lantas menyusahkan saya untuk bergerak 'hangout' dengan rakan-rakan. Whatever it is, still ada hikmah; iaitu mengelakkan saya daripada kebiasaan keluar rumah, and go to driving thru for some fast food treats. TEHHEE :D But jealous lihat sepupu lebih muda bawa kereta BMW X6 ayah dia. COOLIOOO!

Then, bila dewasa juga, kita perlu sediakan mental dan fizikal yang FIT untuk berhadapan dengan prosedur melecehkan untuk mendapatkan tempat di Universiti dan untuk apply for scholarships. Apabila syukur telah dapat kedua-duanya, time to get ready to pack, ready to go. Di sini, timbul pula masalah shopping. Dan untuk belajar ke luar negara, memang best, tapi bab packing masa nak pergi sungguh sadis. Banyak barang untuk dibawa. Baju, seluar, more baju, tudung, inner wear, toileteries, shoes ( 3 pasang kesemuanya!!-untuk kelas, untuk exercise babe! dan untuk event penting), maggie 2 jenis, serunding, 3 IN 1 drinks, and more and more things, termasuklah sweaters, socks, telekung, laptop, notebooks, stationeries. And there're some stuff to be listed too.

Bila nak masuk Universiti juga, penting juga fikir pasal yuran. Terutama bila nak pergi overseas kena fikir, harus ada berapa RUPEE dalam tangan, berapa dollar, dan sebagainya. Nak fikir pasal currency converter lagi, pasal subscription to Broadband dan macam-macam lagi. Ayah dan ibu turut sama merasa penat lelah semua ni, bahkan mereka lebih penat. Kasihan tak kat mereka? Dan semua barang yang nak dibawa tadi, dibeli atas duit mereka cari selepas kerja bertungkus-lumus. Kasihan tak mereka sebab belanja banyak untuk kita seorang? Sedangkan tanggungan untuk adik-adik yang lain masih ada. Waktu inilah, dapat lihat sukarnya menjadi ibu bapa.

Hatta, nak disimpulkan bahawa hidup ni bukannya mudah, tetapi setiap sesuatu yang tidak mudah itu, terselitnya kemudahan. Hanya Allah yang mengetahui. Also, dewasa juga menjadi pertempuran sebenar untuk membentuk diri, menjadi acuan yang baik untuk bekalan ke hari tua. Tentang dewasa dan kolej: suatu permulaan sebenarnya. Kerja belum lagi ni.

>>>p/s: Dr Mazlan did tell me that learning medicine is EASY, Practice is HARD<<<<

what is your favourite hang out place in KL?

2011-08-23T03:23:00.001+08:00

what is your favourite hang out place in KL?

Answer here

Don't Stop Believing

2011-08-21T16:02:00.000+08:00

I need a new phone is better said that I WANT A NEW PHONE. Frankly to say, I have not enough money YET to purchase any phones that I like. BUT, we must never stop believing that we can one day muahaha.

Been wanting a smart-phone. Because I wanna feel smart? Em, no actually, it is all because I want to be compatible with most phones my friends are using. My old one is cikai. Sony Ericson K770i which is metallic purple in surface and was once upon a time my beloved baby because it's camera seems superb to a noob like me. Sadly, not anymore. The keypads are becoming worse day to day. I can't text messaging with ease, its software had been reformat by some Chinese conman, making me lost my RM30 for him to turn my phone into more cikai than I ever could imagine. I can no longer send MMS either. How bad is that. For me it's a disaster actually. Not to mention, no WiFi ability. So, it would be harsh if I were to go somewhere far from home, and yet cannot connect most of my virtual friends and families.

Em so, yesterday, I was thinking to purchase Samsung Galaxy S from a friend. But, no warranty, thus I cancel the plan. Maybe buying a new one, seems nice. The price has dropped a bit though...just waiting for it to drop even further.

Super nice if it is in WHITE.

DISPLAY	Type	Super AMOLED capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors
	Size	480 x 800 pixels, 4.0 inches
		- Gorilla Glass display - TouchWiz 3.0 UI - Multi-touch input method - Accelerometer sensor for UI auto-rotate - Touch-sensitive controls - Proximity sensor for auto turn-off

The best thing is, it has a better screen compared to Iphone. WAHAHA. More vivid more fun. Bluetooth is also accessible to other phones, compared to Iphone which is super hard to connect with other phones' brands. Same goes to Blackberries.

But if I were to save a little bit more, I would or can buy this:

Also a bit dropped in price

And this one is simply mesmerizing. What not the price, but cheaper than Iphone 4 for sure. Some nice specifications:

You can read it HERE: SAMSUNG GALAXY S II

What not, it has :

Dual Core Application Processor

Making the impossible possible. Samsung Dual Core Application Processor is the ultra responsive answer to mobile performance, providing high-speed multitasking, quick web page loading, quick reaction speeds, a smoother UI, lightning fast image editing and high performance gaming. And with its screaming fast encoding/decoding ability, which supports all (1080p / 30fps) video playing and shooting, outshines the other dual core processors. Seamless video or music streaming gets a big boost with the super fast wireless standard HSPA 21Mbps. Outstanding computing power, outstanding performance.

-Need this, for SPEED. I just hate slow, stuck phones. Like mine. T..T It hurts, the thumbs hurt by pressing too hard.

Readers Hub

Leave the bookshelf at home. the Samsung GALAXY S II has it in hand. Readers Hub is a great place to flip through your library of classics or browse for best sellers with over two million to choose from, but you'll also be able to set up some 2,500 magazines in 20 languages and 1,600 of newspapers in 47 languages for delivery. Crisp, sharp text makes reading a pleasure and easy to manage, with magnify, text only and page views, audio access, and more as well as one touch sharing via email. Believe in books, but look beyond paper.

-I also love this, as I am of course a VIVID reader. So as a VIVID reader, I need a VIVID phone. HEHEHEXD

Okay, I think I have made it clear why I WANNA this phone. Thanks to Doc Faisal to actually introduce me to this. In love already. But, unfortunately, I need a some times to actually save up. Which I am afraid to say, I can only purchase this by next year. Thus, I need to use my old purplish metallic Sony for now. EMMM....

>>P/S: DON'T STOP BELIEVING <<

Worst Feelings

2011-08-21T02:22:00.001+08:00

amira123:

Having a good night, and having it ruined with tears:
The feeling like you’re all alone, like you’re lost :
Having to look at the face of the person you love, knowing they won’t love you:
When someone tells you they don’t feel the same:
Crying so much you cry yourself to sleep:
The feeling of anger towards yourself, and him/her:
The feeling of being forgot, unwanted, not good enough:

It's nearer

2011-08-20T01:52:00.002+08:00

Wow. Another 9 days for my brother to return home. Everyone in the family miss him for sure. I remember being a bossy sister, whom always tell him not to finish the whole Iftar nice beverage for himself. My brother used to be quite greedy but not anymore. He seldom eat, and I wonder why. To be frank, both my brother and sister are turning into plywood super thin, but I am the only one who turns gigantic. Clap clap. Where did I get the gene from? HERMM

Anyhow, so, I assumed when my brother comes home, he would have spend most of his time using my laptop to online of course. For that, I must 'beralah'. The worst part when it comes to being the eldest. Always beralah. I miss the moments when he adored the PS2. Sadly, he said, PS2 is so last season. T.T Thus, I would then occupied myself with packing. MUAHAHA. Yes people, I take years to pack, because it is for bloody 5 years. So is that a problem?

Time is so compact, that I feel I haven't fill these long holidays with something really beneficial to myself except for the Sabah Trip and Pre med. I actually wanna spend time with lovely ~~ex-future-sister-in-Law~~, hehe no actually, it was a history. But that girl, is really nice and cute. I fond cute girls, especially shorties. HEHE. But note that I am straight, okayy? Anyhow, I regret it so much that I don't have my driving license yet. I feel dumb now, really. It is embarrassing enough to renew the L license for the 3rd time. Blame me for procrastinating. I just don't feel quite comfortable with my instructors. I messed with three instructors already. Yeah, I am harsh and BAD. Happy?

After reading an article suggested by Aiman Azlan, which you can also read it here, (if you want to), I feel like I have bad mouth. Well yeah, I do have a bad mouth. This holy month alone, I had speak nasty towards my mother which can drag me to hell. It's so hard for me to control my emotions at times. Sometimes, I couldn't stand criticisms and I am not good controlling anger and patience. Of course, even a kindergarten kid could tell this is not a good trait to become someone who looks after someone.

Must change is the only way I could take to stop being bad mouth. It won't bring me nowhere if I continue being a jerk. Plus, the aim to khatam the Quran twice, seems like in my dreams. I don't know why it becomes quite slow this time.

Raya is near, PMR for my little sister is near and then come SPM for my brother. It's scary seeing how they study, and now I can actually see how bad I look like when I study HAHA. For my brother, everyone is hoping high for him, but I just pray he could grab scholarships. It's hard if you have no scholarships for degree. What not, relying on PTPTIPU (formerly known as PTPTN) is definitely nerve-wrecking.

EH, and one thing is nearer: my flight to ~~Belgium~~ Belgaum, India. Mom advised me not to act like rich bratty kid, don't be friend with rich bratty kids, don't spend foolishly, and don't eat too much and WORK OUT. I think one disgust a mother has to face is to having a fat daughter. T...T Sorry Mommy :'(. Yeah, it's 20th Ramadhan already. Heads on, keep calm, be patience and upgrade your Ibadah. Pray for healthiness for the next Ramadhan.

>>p/s: Jealousy is bad. Shut it off. Oh wait, It has no button -.-'''>>>

Hurm

2011-08-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Em I could never learn to think nice of people. All I could do, is thinking negative. That person is rude, this person is annoying, people hate me. Why oh why?

Again, quarreling with mom and will be boarding off faraway soon is not a good thing. Yet, everything coming from people's mouth that didn't suit my mood, will deter this mood swings. Been having sleepless nights thinking about future, about life, about future friends, future hardships and many worries and imaginations which are useless.

Plus, packing things make me sad. And the more I pack, the more I think of bringing the whole house with me. GULP. And today I quarrel with mom regarding one thing so sacred. Mom called me impatience. Hence, she brought up the matter whether or not can I possess a good patience in myself. ARGHH. I am bad at this. Thus, I sinned just because of that during Ramadan. Seriously, I am sick.

Hurm. Hurm....just that, days are becoming nearer to the day I have to leave the house. I really have wasted my long holidays for more of 'NOTHING' compared to 'SOMETHING'. HAIH.....

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T12:44:00.000+08:00

Uncertain Route. And no one says it would be easy. Live with it. Strive and pray for strength.

Is it their fault?

2011-08-16T17:16:00.002+08:00

Parents always want the best for their precious little ones. They would do anything, and undergo any tests just to make sure the fetus inside the womb is healthy and without deformities.

Of course, no one pray to have Down Syndrome babies. This deformity can actually be detected during pregnancy, by taking some amniotic fluid through the mothers. It is a painful procedure to both baby and mother, and only bring about 80% chances to see whether the baby has Down Syndrome or vice versa. Plus, the cost is expensive as well. It costs about USD 900 for one trial. T.___T

For OBGYN doctors, it is their job before any labour or deliveries to tell their patients regarding this test, and ask whether they want it to be done. There are sometimes misunderstanding catastrophic when parents actually believed that when the test is negative on conduct, their babies won't have this syndrome.

Thus, when this happen, guess what happen to the parents. Of course they would be plainly DISAPPOINTED. The babies they had waited long enough came out not at par to what they have expected. And, it's not easy to raise children with Down Syndrome. Only those with strength could.

When the parents become bloody frustrated, they blame everything on doctors. They would say, that the doctors cheated and just want their money. They would go as far isas to sue the doctors. Of course, for Muslims, we must beware that, any tests invented by humans are not necessarily give 100% truthful results. Allah S.W.T is the Most Powerful, He is the only entity whom able to change everything according to HIS great knowledge. We cannot question on that.

Doctors would have to live for the blame. Even with high reputation, it would bring dirt if the doctors had made such 'mistake'-mistakenly. So, the doctors, have to bear being punched till bleed, being nagged and being insulted just because their babies are not as what they want it to be.

Patience is doctor's greatest courage. Alertness comes hand in hand. Poor Doctors. Tough studies, tough work force, harsh patients.

a big fight. everyone tries to stop it.

being threathen

A Dad ventilates how sad he is to know his newborn is deformed.

*from the series called Obgyn Doctors (2010) - episode 10. An amazing worth-to-watch drama*

Heads On

2011-08-16T01:55:00.003+08:00

Keep Calm and start packing dear self. Almost every day, after returning home from work, Mom will ask whether or not have I started or finish packing up my stuff. The most intriguing thing to accomplish yet so complicated.

Actually, I have had myself busy packing for baju kurung. As far as I concern, USM-KLE although seems like studying overseas, it follows rules from USM-KK at Kelantan. Therefore, it a must for students to wear formal attire every day to lectures and classes. No excuses. And, according to our seniors, there's a day for girls to must wear a Punjab Suit, or Salwa Kameez. Yahooo!!! I like this. Hehehe :D So when I said formal attires, I mean baju kurung, dear readers.

Hence, I stuffed all that I have to my baggage and it seems that Baju kurung itself already make it full. Haih. I need to re-pack. Plus, I am thinking to buy more packets of Maggie. My frequent food it will be once I am there, but it seems like 20 kg isn't enough :(

I came up with a plan, to apply for MAS Grad Cards, for students. It allows all members as long they are students to bring extra 10 kg on board, with free of charge but of course, paying the annual fees of USD 30 (for those studying abroad). But, I have second thoughts, if I apply this, I need to use MAS frequently. And, it's not that I will use MAS that frequent, because it's cheaper to return via Air Asia. So, it looks like this plan seems like into no use. Still, it is on my head now. HEHEE...and MAS has far more comfortable seats compared to Air Asia.

Added up to the headache, I now need to pack for three occasions. One: For 5 years stay in India. Second: For 3 days orientation at USM KK. And Third: For Balik Kampung at Kedah. But I can't just bring different set of clothes for this three occasions. Thus, I need to think of a nice strategy to pull things through. Hehehe. Meaning I have to also bring laundry to India, because I have no time exactly to send them to the dobby.

I wanna bring the whole HOUSE if I can. :(

This is just hectic and will be havoc. Just need my mental and physical to be prepared by all the future outbreaks. Not to mention, I maybe have to go to Kelantan by bus again. Pity Dad if I ask him to drive. It's so far.

Anyhow, it is less than 25 days (*how fast time flew*) approximately for me to just set my minds straight and be tough and strong. I will have a drench weeks after Raya, no leisure. And I have to stand on my own feet without parents beside me.

when can I finish this

It's not as simple as BLAIR when it comes to packing :(

Not to mention, I suddenly wish how Azyan Amani would accept this offer too. I just in a sudden, wish how we could prepare things together and live for 5 years together in India. But, she has her reasons to reject this. She doesn't want to be a doctor and I must respect that. :)

>>>p/s: bersyukurlaa kepada sesiapa yang dapat IPTA. Anda tidak perlu risau mengemas barang seperti saya....and....I still need to find for sweaters. Its CHILLING and COLD at India <<<

Raya Cookies, anyone?

2011-08-15T16:34:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum and Salam 1INDIA hehehehehe XD

I know not many of us would put Raya Cookies on their priorities during AildilFithri. And they are not what people most look for during open houses, but seriously, Raya cookies put a very great benefit as a whole.

Usually, when small kids from the neighborhood come to my house, meanwhile my parents are not at home, plus I have nothing to serve them, Raya cookies will be my last resort to give them. Mom always said that kids who come for Raya don't really wanna eat or drink, they just wanna duit raya.

Ok, as I was saying, today I spent boredom with something I couldn't do everyday. Baking Raya Cookies is fun and almost can be considered as Malay's Tradition when Aildilfitri is looming. Sadly, I have no talent whatsoever to do or make special complicated cookies like Pine Apple tarts or Almond London. I just have talent to make simple Conflakes Madu cookies - which if I make them for one whole small container, it can be vanished in just ONE day.

Almost every Raya, I make this cookies. The simplest raya cookies in the whole universe. HAHA. And the most important thing: It's very delicious.

YUM YUM <3

with LOVE

*Cough3*

Ingredients:

1 Big Bowl of Kellog's Cornflakes

3 Spoonful of Planta/Butter

2 Spoonful of Sugar

One Bowl of Honey

Methods:

Heat the wok with slight flame. Heat the butter till half melts. Add in the 2 spoonful sugar, stir till everything melts altogether. Pour in the honey. Let everything mix well. Pour all the Cornflakes in. Using a spatula, mix everything up till all the flakes covered with the honey gravy. Turn off the flame. Let it cool for 2 minutes under normal air. And start putting them inside small paper cups. Beautify them with sprinkles of LOVE hehehe. Then, put in the oven, and heat them for 10 minutes at 110 Degree Celcius.

Once ready, Voilaa...enjoy:)

Reality Streaming in Malaysia

2011-08-13T14:09:00.001+08:00

One word: MISERY. The reality to download or to stream big files in Malaysia is just going down the drain. I didn't know that actually when we used Wifi, the actual speed we subscribe would be divided according to the numbers of computer in the house that are using the line. This is just super sucks. And, the speed got worsen during weekends. T.T

I have a friend who recently returned from studying at Russia. He took amazing 5 minutes downloading 3 movies simultaneously back there at Russia. I asked him to download some of my favourite TV shows which if I were wanting to download them here, would be just 'impossible'. So yeah, he also gave me abundant of new movies that were not even aired yet in our country, how cool is that? So, as he is now settling back in his hometown, here in Malaysia, and the speed of Internet is just so pathetic, he got so bored for not being able to continue streaming like heaven like before. Pity.

Anyhow, as I was saying, I am currently downloading my current favourite Korean drama called Obgyn Doctors, recommended by my future senior. Trying to download the 7th episode now, and yesterday's episode on War of Blood was just super mesmerizing and impressive. The fake surgery seems to be super real, and the blood too. The same level as Grey's Anatomy would I were to describe this.

The fact that direct downloading is insecure because if our connection goes wrong, we need to download it back again. And the waits? Who can wait that longer. I am also not the kind of person who like to turning on my computer in bloody long hours just to download a single series. It would damage the computer in a long run due to overheating.

So yeah, I hope in the near future, there would be an increment in our internet service. We need fast secure connectivity. What not nowadays people do live on online connection. Even business run that way. What's the use of our country being a fibre optic's producer if we cannot even have amazing fast speed Internet right?

Kena marah..

2011-08-13T01:38:00.002+08:00

On last Wednesday, I went to The India Visa Centre located at Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar to of course do my visa. Sadly, MARA didn't covers for it, so I went up using dad's money instead. Pity me though for not having this 'capability' to pay this on my own. I am plain broke.

Actually, on that day before, Tuesday that was, dad and I walked all the way from Jalan Raja Laut crossing the Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to reach Masjid Jamek to search for Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar. Glad that my dad is a Kuala Lumpur expert, so he knew quite well where some important buildings are located in the city. It was tiring and blazing hot, adding up it was Ramadhan.

I guess that Tuesday was some sort of a bad luck day for me though. Dad and I went to perform Zuhur at Masjid India, which was sooo crowded. After wudhuk, I went to the Muslimah side of the masjid, then I got scolded for stepping on the pathway that I can't step on if I have my shoes on. The clean lady was like:

" Dah tulis tak boleh pijak pun, masih pijak lagi. Takde mata ke? "

And she was pointing all those words to me. Everyone was staring at me like I am sort of a loser (Well, practically I am. I step back, took off my shoes and went inside without bothering to give some piece of my mind to the lady. Takpe, puasa, so tahan je nafsu amarah tu :)

Anyhow, as I was saying, I went again to KL on Wednesday, since the service for Visa had already close when we actually arrived at the very place. Early in the morning we went there, and so, I was the first one to deal with the counter that very day.

Unfortunately, I don't know which part that I did wrong or LOOKed wrong that I was mistreated so badly. Okay, actually as I arrived, I went to the receptionist, gave the lady my information and the lady did write something on my Visa form and then gave it back to me. She gave me my number, and in a couple of seconds, I was called. Damn fast.

Then, it was at the counter where, I was treated like some sort of bastard. The counter lady, asked for my Visa form, my passport and USM offer letter rudely though. The intonation was as if she had PMS on that day. She ruined my mood in a total. Then she asked me rudely again why didn't I complete my visa form. Well it was 90% complete, except that I left blank some of the part I didn't know what to fill. I gave her back as soon as I finished filling those empty parts. She asked for my passport, and kept complaining how different my signature in the passport with the one in the Visa form. Of course a slight different only. Is that such bad thing? No right? T.T

I was so freaking pissed because of the lady at the counter. She even questioned me whether my application has been approved by the manager. I told her NO because I didn't know that the first lady at the reception counter already approve it. She took my visa form, and saw the red ink note written by that lady, and exclaimed, " Just now I asked you dah approve ke belum, you kata belum". Yeah, like I knew THAT was actually what they mean by approved.

Luckily, all those heart wrenching moment lasted about 20 minutes. I was a bit shocked by how RUDE some people especially officers can be EARLY in the morning. Really spoiled my mood though, I bet she spoiled hers too. Maybe I was right that she has PMS. But why can't she be at least a bit fun. I am going to her country for God sake. Why can she smile? Is not like she's working under the hot blazing sun or it's not like she's on fasting. Haih....what a day

But people, that was just a simple scene one would have to bear in Kuala Lumpur. Harsh people are everywhere. No one you can trust.

>>p/s: KTM SUCKS LIKE ALWAYS. <<

Annoyance

2011-08-11T01:12:00.000+08:00

Yeah, it's Ramadan now. But it's so freaking hard to resist annoyance.

1. annoyed with one girl in Facebook. I don't know whether or not she's a friend I should keep or should I 'unfriend' her. She annoys me by liking every post and every status I made. She is nice and all, but she annoys me everytime. But why am I nagging? That's the reason to have facebook in the first place, wasn't it?

2. annoyed with a friend who seems so mysterious and has a lot of secrets. I do respect people's privacy, but if something like where you are studying is also a mysterious thing and a big secret, how will I function as a friend?

3. annoyed with some people who couldn't be honest. Mulut putar belit, macam ular. Sometimes it's west sometimes it's east. Not certain and specific. Doing maths is better I guess because there's always specific answers rather than dealing with uncertain people.

4. annoyed with some Malaysian officers who seems to be very bossy and sometimes stuck ups and snobbish. Do they learn manners treating customers? Is it that hard to work a little harder during Ramadhan? Working in an air-conditioned cubicles are so tiring heh? Have they ever ponder how is it like for people who fight for money under hot blazing sun? Just tiresome and gruesome dealing with officers who never know the art of smiling and never ever learn the art of learning people's explanation. HEH.

5. Super slow KTM is making me nuts. Since, KTM is the only transport, at least the best choice I have to travel to KL if there aren't anyone to drive me there, I have to bear the slowpoke-ness forever. 10 minutes for KTM means 20 minutes and 30 minutes means an hour. Clap clap KTM for being the oldest train service yet still sucks. And I guess the women's coach are now meant for men too aite? There is no longer any officer on duty to let no man into the coach. HAHAHAH. Pity laaa T.T

Worries

2011-08-10T13:14:00.003+08:00

This is bad. I have this bad sense in alertness and being careful at things. My carelessness is my biggest weakness. And if I continue being this careless, being so bad at handling things, how am I going to be a competent doctor in the future?

I have this big regret already after filling up those agreements papers from MARA. They gave me a guide book on how to fill them properly, but I don't know what got into me that I misread those guides. In the end, everything turned spoiled. Many mistakes have I made on every cover of the agreement booklet. I needed to cross the mistakes out and both guarantors and I have to put our initial as to mark the mistakes. It's bizarre how I made those silly mistakes continuously for 5 same booklets. I was so careless.

My mom was furious to know how I lost focus on filling those IMPORTANT agreement booklets. Those are my future. MARA is a tedious matter. It is up to them now whether or not to accept those agreements. I have give them such bad impression as one future medical student now. It's the biggest fear I have right now knowing how bad the agreements look.

House bought a smiley balloon to erase his worries.

Mom said she should have watch over me while filling those agreements. She as a lawyer had always deal with such documents and it's weird how I, as her daughter couldn't even fill them nicely. Since that moment, mom has always been doubting the fact that I wanna do medicine. Everyday mom will give me a peace of advice to be extra careful, to be focus, to be alert and to be wise. As a medical student, mistakes may be my greatest teachers to guide me to be better, as I can learn from them. However, if one day I were a doctor, doing many mistakes could lead to mishap among my patients as well as the whole hospital community. And I do not want to be another incompetent doctor. Of course NOT.

Now all the worries accumulating inside the head. Worried that MARA might reject me, worried that things would be burdening my parents all over again and I just hate going to and fro burdening people and all the I am the one who should face the blame. Repercussion for being so careless over such important and crucial matters.

In the end, I need to stay positive. Worries are always humans most useless imaginations. Period.

Dugaan Bulan Ramadhan

2011-08-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

Minggu yang serabut. Minda serabut, pertuturan serabut. Semua serabut. Cuma masa tarawih sahaja ketenangan menerpa.

8 August 2011

Actually today I need to send back my Mara's agreement forms and whatnot. One word dealing with all these forms would be : tiresome. No wonder many friends before this, asked me to decide properly either I want to accept this offer of vice versa. And now I know how tedious all of these are. Part of growing up dear self. Live with it.

The fact that some of future coursemates and I have to send all these by 8th August is because we took the agreement by hand, whilst some others got theirs through post laju which is not as laju as it seems. Anyhow, so yeah, I really was positive that I can settle everything about Mara's agreement by today. My mom skipped from her office to follow me to the Oath Commissioner to get her/his signature for the guarantors' agreements. She was a nice lady, which brighten up my day quite a bit.

Spent bloody RM50 note on Stamps for the 5 copies of agreement booklets was something I have to bear. Went to the LHDN, to matikan the stamps ahhaha and luckily it was quite near and didn't cost me a cent. And every thing seems to be almost complete till I arrived at the MARA's headquarters down the Jalan Raja Laut, Kuala Lumpur. Took the bloody commuter to reach Bank Negara, along the way standing upright holding to an aluminium rod because the coach was as always full of bloody people. Walked a few stones of steps to voila reach the MARA's building at almost 1 pm.

Greatly about my arrival was that, it was actually lunch time, Even though most of MARA's staff are Muslim Malays, and they are all fasting, they still need lunch time. I went to the third floor dear readers, where I should hand in the documents. I sat down at one couch and start rearranging all the forms in order. And it was nearly two seconds before 1 pm, that I walked to the receptionist. Greet one woman with salam, but sadly I was badly treated.

It was my bad frankly to say that I came at inappropriate time. She asked me what agreement was that, and I told her that I was one of the USM-KLE'S students. And she went looking puzzle for a sudden as if she doesn't know what is it. I was a bit pissed actually when they told me that they were tired, and asked me to come later. Haissh

And in the end, the agreements need to be corrected. I need to see my cousin again as he is the guarantor, to get his initials for every mistakes in that bloody booklets. HAHAHA. So, I left MARA's building with this frown face. Dad and I walked all the way to Masjid Jamek, crossing the forever crowded Jalan TAR and the hotness of Ramadhan to go to Indian Visa Centre somewhere near the Bangunan Sultan Abdul Samad (Jalan Lebuh Pasar Besar). Saw some tourists drinking coke like heaven brought up the tenses I tell ya! Takpee dugaan.

One thing I hate about KL is the those uniformed DBKL people who should function as our travel guide in KL. How pathetic that they don't even know where Lebuh Pasar Besar is. And what more the Visa Centre. Pity laa Malaysian. And after lotsa walking, guess who helped Dad and I to the Visa Centre? A kind hearted Arabic Man, who is a foreigner for GOD SAKE!!

I was relief when we actually got ourselves to the Visa Centre. Then, came another bad news. The Visa application time is already of at 2 pm. We reached there at 2.30 pm. And of course I was bloody disappointed. After all the walking, after all the sore throat and thirst. But Dad said, in KL weak people die early. You need to be strong to be in KL especially during Ramadhan. Dad was so strong. So rigid and so positive. He is a total opposite from me. I adore him a lot for that. He is willing to sacrifice his time to bear all these with me, syukur AlhamduLILLAH.

Back at home, mom was there. She is kinda mad at me for being so careless filling up these forms. I like always like to blame on things when I am in a bad mood, so all those blaming, made me tired and wearing out. HAHAHA. I slept after reaching home till Iftar. Didn't help mom sorting out the preparation for it though, what a daughter am I huh?

All these I should consider as dugaan. Allah Taala loves me dearly, so HE gives me all these obstacles again and again. I am blessed with a dad who forever is willing to accompany me and attending my amends. I am blessed to have a cousin who is willing to be my guarantor and going to and fro to attend my documents. T.T Syukur ya RABB for all these lovely people. Lovely life and lovely dugaan.

In Between Ramadan

2011-08-08T01:04:00.004+08:00

Jaundice. Due to liver illness. Miss discussing on liver disease with SGS Group 11 during Pre Medicine at USA. Memory remains. This is one nice interactive knowledgeable game one can find online. Could be boring towards the end and confusing due to lots of medical terms and diseases plus symptoms which can be quite similar from one to another. HAHAHA. But I found myself a bit obsessed. Hope this obsessive last till the day I die. InsyaAllah.

No need to register, no need to pay. Play it all free at Kongregate.com. Or just google Medical School Game and voi'la happy learning !! Takyah nak jadi doctor pun boleh...:)

Book for the Souls.

2011-08-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum dear readers :)

Ramadhan 2011 is going to approach it's second week already. What do we feel about this? Sad because it is going to end in another couple of weeks or we feel excited because Raya is looming? Tepuk dada tanya iman. AHAHA.

Ramadhan gives us more time to ponder on life and to start working out for things we usually missed out due to our meal time. Each meal takes approximately 10 to 30 minutes to end, thus, do the math and calculate how much spare time we obtain without the need to attend hunger?

My first Ramadhan's activity would be finishing some books in the collection. Lately, I have been in love with books for the souls, buku kerohanian rather than books for fun. And I am more into Bahasa Melayu's books. HEHEHE.

Isabella is the first book I would like to brag about. Bought it 2 months ago, in the intention to bring it along to UiTM Shah Alam during Pre Med, but it was kept dusty inside the drawer since it was so busy during that time. Ceh...

One word for Isabella would be mesmerizing. Isabella isn't a novel about the usual love story we found in typical books and it is not just about a woman named Isabella. More that, ISABELLA revolves around an Islamic Heroine. Srikandi Islam that we perhaps never heard before in our lives.

Who is Isabella? Well, to know who she is, first we need to read the book. Basically, the book in my hand right now, is the new edition and it has been published over 20 years ago in Malaysia for the first time.

Back is Spain centuries ago, where Islam was about to spread all over Spain, lives Isabella, the daughter of the head of all priests. She is an intelligent, beautiful young woman, who many respects. Her father intended to bring her up just like Mary or Maryam, Mother of Isa A.S. He wanted Isabella's life fully dedicated to Christianity. Thus, Isabella had grown up to be one Christianity intellectual.

Because of curiosity to find the truth, however, Isabella was attracted to the fact on Jesus Christ and the reason why 'Their Lord' was put to christ. Christians believed for ages that God sent down his 'prince/son' to Earth, to be Christ, to vanish or to wash away all sins there were on Earth.

With intense debate among some Muslims' scholars, with the priests at one big church in Cordova, Isabella started to feel something wrong with the religion she have faith in. She even started to melt after listening to one surah recited by Umar Lahmi. By the way, it was Umar Lahmi who brought up the issue on Jesus being christ.

After some time, Isabella noticed how the priests and even her own father as the head, could not answer the all the questions asked by the muslims' scholars. Her faith became more shaky. She was so mad when her father didn't answer one question by Umar Lahmi instead he walked away because he was puzzled and he was blanked.

Because of that, Isabella was totally hundred per cent sure that ISLAM is the righteous religion and Allah S.W.T as the only God in the Universe. The book tells perfectly every detail on how Isabella was put into inquisitorial and was badly tortured in the dungent of the church as to bring her back to Christianity. However, she was strong till the end. No matter how harsh she was punch and kicked and slapped and hurt, she was still able to say and to confess that Allah is the only GOD, and Prophet Muhammad S.A.W is HIS messenger.

Isabella also revealed to Umar Lahmi and other Muslims about the dark and hidden sides of christianity. How nuns were treat as sex slaves to the priests and many other activities which sounded 'syirik' and khurafat. In the end, towards the end, Isabella was successfully released from torture and brought back to Islam and officially reverted to Islam. She then started learning hadith and the Quran, soon becoming a respected and prominent reference for Hadith. She was unbeatable in debates regarding Christianity and Islam. She even succeed to revert one famous Christian believer to Islam.

This great woman died at the age of 80 and along her life, she had dedicated her energy and her wisdom to the spread of Islam all over Spain. Her demise was mourned and even some Muslims across the globe pray for her. Al FATIHAH to Isabella. A Muslim Heroine who definitely should we put as an example:)

SubhanALLAH. Grateful to be destined with this incredible novel. A must read for sure.

To those out there, please buy yourself and get this wonderful Novel right away.RM16 for an amazing and inspirational novel is nothing compared to its priceless story and knowledge. Indulge yourself and seek for the truth now. And thanks to Dato Abdullah Hussain for translating this wonderful story for us to learn and inspire.

Havoc and Mercy

2011-08-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum dear readers,

How are our fasting progressing? Any better? AlhamduLILLAH for the chances to feel Ramadan till this very day.

Well, my preparation to leave to India, is by far approaching 90%. Ceh. Hahaha. But still clothes are unpack, foods to be brought along haven't been bought and yes, I am telling you I am 90% ready? Yeah right.

So, this recent Monday, Encik Redza from MARA contacted me, informing me to take my MARA's agreement letter which almost look like a pillow in an envelope. Luckily, mom and dad were so kind enough to drive all the way to Jln Raja Laut, KL for it. I guess they really really care for me. AlhamduLILLAH.

The office was crowded with both youths and the 'mid' elderly. The woman at the receptionist wasn't rude nor polite. She asked my name thrice and I was like a log waiting for the officer to find my agreement and offer letter. Signed the log book and rushed off to SOGO for shopping. Thankfully, I wasn't in the mood to shop, even though got one blouse...cittt off story.

Anyhow, before I rushed home from MARA's building, I did asked the man who handed me my parcel of documents, when should I send the agreement back. He harshly tell me to send it by THIS UPCOMING MONDAY THE 8TH AUGUST. I was like Ya Allah....with tonnes of them need signatures, some need guarantors and lotsa complicated things to be done, they want it by MONDAY? How great.

But, the time limit that I was given had somehow put me in this amazing velocity to work hard to get what I want. Of course, it is the 2nd most important agreement I ever had in my life after my agreement to be Allah's slave for the last 19 years, and this one valued so much to me. I am now going to pursue medicine with funds from the People. People's fund. No way I am gonna burn it all to ashes. Half a million ringgit is the worth. InsyaAllah, I will do my very best, to make it all happen.

Just today, I almost finished up 50% of the agreements. All the forms that needed important verification have been completed. My cousin is kind enough to be one of the guarantor, the first is my mother. Then, I am also done with medical-checkups, took the HEP B AND C shots as well as HIV-did the X-Ray again -.-' and did the urine test. It was shocking however, to notice how high my diastolic pressure is (124/90) and to note that I got blood in my urine, which then gives me this scary feeling that maybe I have kidney problem T.T. All in all, I still feel I am a bit of shaky to note as a healthy woman. This is the repercussion for leading a sedentary lifestyle for almost a year. Blaming myself is what I can at least do though. I am just too lazy to work out. T.T

Anyhow, back at home after that, I told the rest of my future coursemates, that the agreements need to be handing it back by this upcoming Monday. Then the HAVOC begins. I sort of starting it though. Some of my future coursemates, haven't received theirs yet and they started shaking in fear. But then, when a girl call the MARA's officer, they gave another due date which is the 10th August. AND I really feel bad, it feels like I am putting them into this almost wrecking ship already. My friend, Darina, already burst into tears knowing she got 2 days to complete everything up. I am so guilty. But, I really did heard the officer said 8TH AUGUST. Dang.

Whatever it is, I am glad that they put a new date for it. At least, things will be completed in a manner of neat and proper. I bet my friend Darina can wipe all her tears of worry now. Hahaha. I am so afraid she would change her mind, and go to UniMAS instead of India. Just pray she won't though..

GAHHHH penat....anyhow, thankfully Allah gives mercy to complete all these. If not, it would be war. HAHAHA. And I hope I won't have to redo my medical check-up though....since I did it at AZ ZAHRA, Bangi. Emmm...till then. I will nag again don't worry. ;p

Wordless Wednesday :)B

2011-08-03T10:23:00.000+08:00

A beauty, SubhanaAllah....

It feels different

2011-08-02T13:22:00.002+08:00

Fine, it's true that I accept the fact that I am going to India soon. I am excited as everyone else who will also be going there. My dream to study overseas, has been granted, what else do I want? But why I don't feel fine about this. Or in other word: FUN?

People always said, to succeed, do not turn back. Do not contemplate on the past. Past is a history, and things happened. That is life. But, accepting good things are now just as our pasts, made me feel bad. Every morning, I would wake up and feel extremely sad, knowing things won't be the same again.

Why I am sad?

1. I am still thinking of UiTM Shah Alam- The Faculty of Medicine.

- Arggghhh...call me insane. Call me pathetic, but this is sooo real. I am having this bad feeling that I won't be part of it any more. After Pre-Medicine experience, I sort of glued to that place already. Even though the hostel is the worst place to live in, even though there's always technical problems at lecture halls and even though the lectures are tedious to be copied, but I am in love with it. I love my fellow friends at Pre-Medicine, especially my super roommates. I now must learn to be apart from them. It is hard, especially when I have always dream to be with them for degree. AHHH, this is nonsense, dear self.

2. I want my Pre Med Room mates back

- And again another nonsense. One month, or less, but we are like sisters. Memories last, but events fade. The feelings don't just go away. Three of four of us, got the same place, and I am the only one stranded. This is super sad, just knowing, I will be far from all of them. Now, I regret for not excelling the final examination, WHY MUST I FEEL THIS NOW?

miss all of them :'(

3. Joining another group- USM-KLE

-Recently, been busy with Facebook, playing comments with seniors from USM KLE. Of course, I now have to join the new group, leaving this frustration not to be able entering or joining MBBS UiTM Batch 9, meanwhile most of fellow pre-meds can. It felt a lot different, a lot em, less fun. Not to mention, some of the new students are from various matriculation college, only four of us, would be from asasi UiTM, thus it feels awkward. And the awkward has just been super annoying.

USM-KLE new discussion group

-How I wish to join this group :(

In my dream :(

4. I will be missing the old Pre-Medicine 2011 group. It carved a lot of memories for all of us and surely, had created a perfect bond to unite us. Sadly, not all of us are meant to be together. Live by the fact, dayana...

It has been quite unlike a month ago. Emmm

5. Less than 30 days at home, spending Raya with no leisure

-Since, I got 30 days to spend Ramadhan at home, I must make use of this opportunity. Performing Tarawikh with family and the whole neighbourhood, bring priceless memory. Probably next year, I won't be getting the similar chances. And to think about it, yes, it is so sad.

-On Eid-Fitri, only the 1st day will I have the chance to celebrate with dear big family at Klang, and then at Kedah. Days will be lesser compared to previous years, and the moments at Kedah will be limiting. Meaning, less time to visit many family who I only got to see once a year. After two days at Kedah, I need to return to Kajang, send little brother to SASER, then rush off to Kubang Kerian, Kelantan. PACKED! This is also sad, when you are actually a family-oriented person :(

6. Find myself a bit too occupied to spend with fellow old friends

-I had located myself from being a bad friend to the worst friend ever. Absent during previous barbecue cum reunion for my Form 5 class a 3 weeks ago, due to some circumstances had really been my greatest regret. My old friends are nice to me, they knew why I have been so 'isolated' from their circles, and they also gave me a birthday present recently, which is a book that I have always wanted. But, what did I do in return? Nothing at all. Been busy contemplating my own endeavours and been pretty selfish. What is super wrong with me???

-Plus, added to the dismay, I have exactly no spare time to at least pay them visits, especially during Eid-Fitri later on. This is another factor to the sadness:(

7. No more weekends with family

-Great news is that I no longer can play bratty with my family. Calling them to pick me up during weekends is no longer something I can dwell with. I am a grown up now, I must rely things on friends and seniors now and the fellow Indians lectures. And the best of all, I will only have Sunday to relax and to rejuvenate. YAY! I want to be busy thus, this is the moment Dayana. You asked for it, now live with it. HAHAHA.

-In addition, if I fall sick, the only people I can rely is again fellow future friends and future seniors and future Indian doctors and nurses. No more good porridge and pamper from MakTeh at Klang. Leaving Klang behind means I also have to kiss goodbye to my niece Khayra Amani and fellow lovely cousins. Surely miss them a lot. Hope they know how to skype though...:(

>>p/s: sorry if I sounded weak here. Just too hard to let the past goes by. But I guess, time will heal everything. And yes, by hook or by crook, India here I come....:P<<<

Kali ini Ramadhan cukup bermakna

2011-07-31T16:09:00.001+08:00

Alangkah ruginya jikalau Ramadhan setakat diisi dengan puasa. Menahan lapar dan dahaga serta penat kerana kedua-duanya. Mudah-mudahan, Ramadhan kita bukan macam tu, InsyaAllah.

Sebenarnya, setiap tahun Ramadhan ada keistimewaannya tersendiri sebab bulan itu sahaja sudah cukup istimewa. Bulan Islam di mana Allah Taala, yang MAHA PEMURAH membuka langit pengampunannya seluas-luasnya. Bulan Islam di mana turunnya Al Quran peneman hidup seluruh umat Islam dan juga bulan Lailatul Qadar serta banyak lagi makna-makna penting disebaliknya.

Manusia sering berdosa, bahkan bergelumang dengan dosa. Sesetengah manusia yang berdosa besar, sepatutnya sedar, betapa besarnya dosa mereka, selagi hayat dikandung badan, mereka perlu kembali menghadap Allah Taala, dan berusaha bertaubat serta tidak mengulangi dosa lampau, hal ini kerana sifat Al Ghaffar Allah Taala itu lebih besar dan lebih 'berkuasa' berbanding dosa besar mereka. Tidakkah kita sedar?

Ramadhan juga istimewa kerana doa-doa kita mudah diqabulkan Allah Taala, kerana langit terbentang luas. Panjatkan sahaja segala doa, insyaAllah akan dimakbulkan. Ceriakan Ramadhan dengan bacaan suci nan indah kalam-kalam Allah Taala, bukan sahaja dapat menenangkan jiwa bahkan mampu membangkitkan rasa dekat kepada Allah di samping memberikan 'cahaya keimanan' kepada seluruh isi rumah. Bukankah rugi sekiranya kita cuma mengambil kesempatan membaca al Quran setakat dua atau tiga helai sehari? Lantas rasa cukup? Tidakkah bodohnya kita, sekiranya, rumah lebih didengari dengan lagu-lagu lagha duniawi? Sedangkan para sahabat, dan mukminin serta mukminat pada zaman kegemilangan Islam dulu berlumba-lumba mengkhatam Al Quran apatah kita, yang sudah berada di ambang akhir zaman. Oleh itu, misi saya pada Ramadhan kali ini ialah mengkhatam Al Quran, insyaAllah dua kali. Moga-moga kita semua mampu melaksanakannya.

Tarawih juga menghidupkan lagi bulan mulia ini. Saya gembira kerana dapat menunaikan solat tarawih di surau yang sebelah rumah ini bersama keluarga tercinta sepanjang lebih kurang 30 hari. InsyaAllah. Mungkin juga, ini merupakan tarawih yang terakhir dapat dilaksanakan bersama mereka. Lepas ni di perantauan. Hahaha.

Puasa kali ini juga meriah, kerana dapat berbuka bersama keluarga, sebab setahun yang lalu berbuka kebiasaannya di kolej. Tapi bermula tahun hadapan, senario sama mungkin berulang. Kembali berpuasa sebagai pelajar di perauntau. Sedih juga sebenarnya. Dah tak boleh nak mengidam macam-macam. Tapi itu bukan intisari penting Ramadhan, maka boleh diketepikan. Teruja rasanya nak berpuasa di perantauan HAHAHA. Kerana, pengalaman itu mendewasakan kita. Sampai bila nak tersepit di bawah pelukan ibu dan bapa sahaja, betul tak?

Makna Ramadhan kali ini berlainan sedikit daripada kebiasaannya. Mungkin ia lebih bermakna daripada Raya Puasa kelak. Bayangkan, raya tidak sampai seminggu dah terpaksa terbang jauh daripada keluarga. Pengorbanan demi masa depan perlu diletakkan di tempat prioriti. HAHAHA.

Sampai di sini sahaja, saya membebel. Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al Mubarak. Dan, ceriakan Ramadhan dengan ibadah bukannya membeli-belah. Assalamualaikum :)

India, here I come

2011-07-29T20:55:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum dear readers:)

Seems like it has been pretty clear that YES I AM HEADING TO BELGAUM, KARNATAKA, INDIA. In a sudden, however, this morning around 11 something, Puan Salina, who happened to be an officer at Faculty Of Medicine, UiTM called me. I was so happy to see her number on the phone's screen, eagerly took it up and answered it with calm.

"Dayana, ni Puan Salina. Kalau ikutkan, kami hanya mampu ambil semula pelajar yang dapat merit CGPA 3.89 sahaja, tapi dengan syarat tidak mendapat tawaran kos perubatan di mana-mana IPTA. Jadi, dukacita saya maklumkan, rayuan Dayana gagal. Maaf ye"

The heart pounded hard. I failed to gain admission to the place I have been dreaming all day long to go. Just because my CGPA wasn't enough to make it through. Thanks UiTM for all the memories during Pre-Medicine, you have turned me down. But that's okay.

Then again, I must be absolutely thankful and grateful to have a second option. Thank you MARA for calling me the other day. And I was happy and over the rainbows to be selected among those who applied. Seems like all the adventure was worth a try. I am also relief that I made the decision to attend to the interview. Thanks a lot to dad for accompanying me all the way to Kubang Kerian, Kelantan too :) AlhamduLILLAH.

Genuinely, both Malaysia and India have lots to offer, provide pros and cons. So to make them crystal clear why I have been ranting to study medicine in the country and why I made my decision to fly to India, I listed the following reasons:

MALAYSIA

Advantages

1. High requirements for admission to medical courses in local universities. So once you are in, you can be considered as superbly good. But, guess I am not. HeheheXD

2. Provide local lecturers aside the foreigners. Better understanding, when you find it slightly difficult to converse in English. *Be real Dayana. This is the sign that you will be able to brush up your English*

3. Problem Based Learning is implemented, especially in UiTM. Thus provide better way to understand cases and relate them with the symptoms and signs. *eemm...I am pretty sure there will be PBL too in USM-KLE*

4. Family lives here. What is even better than having to stay close to them? Maybe I am sounded a bit childish and bratty, but here's the fact. Family washes away your inferiors and also sometimes, tenses.

5. No need to worry on money currency. Been living almost 2 decades in the country, been shopping around with Ringgit Malaysia. Easy breezy shopping is indeed a pleasure for those who manage to study here.

6. No worry on food. Halal food is everywhere.

7. Can celebrate yearly occasions with family members. Again I sounded bratty.

8. Can drive here and there. And building up more fat in the adipose tissues thanks to lotsa nearby fast food restaurants. Added up to the fact, there are tonnes of drive-thru...

9. UiTM offered AMS (Advanced Medical Science) degree if you completed your second year with honour. It could be an added up basis for you as a medical student and as a doctor in the future. Guess, I won't have to dream about it now though...

10. New campus in Sg Buloh (UiTM) which alike Puncak Alam, is superb. But this is not a major problem since hostels at KLE are of five class standards too.

11. Friends are abundant. Yet, life is about adventure, in every phase, find yourselves new troops of friends. Build up networking, Dayana. Don't be too narrow minded.

12. Clinics are located everywhere, in case you need to see a doctor. In India however, I am not quite sure, if I were to have my bronchitis back, who should I ask for help? My room mate?

13. They got JPA sponsorship. RM 5600 per semester if I am not mistaken. They will be instantly rich brainiacs. Bounded 10 years to the government, and Voi'la you don't need to pay back. And do you think 10 years is lengthy?

Disadvantages

1. Less experience on life. No opportunity to cultivate yourselves to other people's culture unless you are going to the Borneo.

2. Small and poor ventilated rooms with bathrooms outdoors. Misery I tell ya.

3. Quite unhelpful when it comes to possess English as the medium of interaction. Mostly, students will talk more in their native language thus, would be bad for their learning process in a long run.

4. More expensive medical books.

5. Hot and timid climate almost a year round.

6. Small space lecture halls. Not conducive.

7. Mosquitoes breeding farm. They are handy to give you sleepless nights.

8. High chance to become a bit racist especially when you are surrounded with MALAYS all the time.

9. Inadequate cadavers to provide students with hands-on experience doing dissections and knowing every little details of the human body.

10. Couldn't learn to cook or brushing up cooking skills, since food are provided on your 'doorsteps'.

So now, lets move on to why must I go to India ??

Advantages:

1. First amazing collaboration between Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM) and a well-established medical institution in Belgaum, KLE. Who doesn't wanna be a part of this incredible giant medical school?

2. Obtained a M.D degree from USM after you completed the course. This is just super amazing because USM has been established so well in the country, so no one would question whether it is accredited or recognized.

3. USM KLE is located in Belgaum, where there's 4 seasons and by this September it would be winter. Sorry to say, there's no snow, but it will be super cool to be in low temperatures.

4. Superb five star accommodations. We can choose to have single bed, or twin bed. With bathroom attached.

5. Superb five star facilities in the campus.

6. Dedicated lecturers. By the end of the class, they will surely ask again where do we don't understand, not just swift away and leave us blurred.

7. Meals provided by MESS

8. Abundant cadavers...

9. Cheaper medical books, very cheap...

10. AMAZING FOOD. My friend who went to Karnataka for a holiday, said the food was marvellous, and they get to eat at lavish restaurants since the price are so cheap. *macam mana nak slim ni haih*

11. Super fast Internet connectivity, but can't browse through Youtube. *DANG*

12. Enable to learn multi-dialects of Indian languages, Kannada and Hindi. Thus, they would be pretty handful once I returned to provide my service in local government hospitals. :P

13. Cheap phone-calls rates.

14. Nice venue to shop for more clothes, that I can ask the locals to tailor. I heard they are good doing baju kurung, we'll see then :)

15. No over-crowded lecture halls.

16. Tip-top computer labs.

17. Get to feel the incredible India, and what not to experience living in other country. To go to Taj Mahal is also in my head. It is time to be independent. Hahhaa.

18. Gotta save to travel to Kashmir, or to China or to London. HEHEH.

19. Took only four hours to reach Karnataka from Malaysia, so it won't feel that much of a jet lag...and besides, return tickets are cheaper compared to those in the European countries. I am certainly blessed:)

20. Going to be the second batch at USM-KLE. The second troop of pioneers, so it would be great having the chance to be a sort of ambassador bragging about it, hehe. InsyaAllah.

21. Small groups of students thus, I see this bright chance that everyone will mingle so well with each other, to create one big happy family, insyaAllah.

22. One difference of USM KLE compared to USM KK is that, in India, there will be held dissection classes whereby lecturers will guide us to do dissection for one to two hour. I am very excited for this one. But better take it slow and steady. Over-excited leads to bad luck, sometimes.

23. Have the chance to learn how to save like an adult. Got to pay back 20% of the loan by the end of this course. So better keep the money rolling into the piggy bank!

24. Fast Internet speed, but inaccessible to YouTube. Sorry Youtube, you might have to say bye to me in 5 years to come. Ahaks..!

25. It's chilling, but dry. But chilling keeps you excited and comfy...

26. We would be provided with cleaners to tidy up our rooms, with no charges to pay, but seniors advised us to at least give them some tips. Do kind to them people!

27. For girls, there's laundry service available, with rate as low as RM7 per month. Hehe.

Disadvantages:

1. Gotta be super tired with 6 days per week classes. But it would be fascinating.

2. The English pronunciation from the Indian lecturers could be quite tedious to understand sometimes. So, I better did some earwax removal before boarding off. HEHE.

3. Will have to adapt to the food at first. But, adaptation can be cultivated.

4. Dry climate, will cause lips to 'merekah'. Indeed, according to Bro Erwyn, need to bring lip moisturizer.

5. Of course, groceries would be different than what we could find here in the country. So, yes, another adaptation is required.

6. Far from family teach us to be strong.

7. Need International Adapters for electrical appliances.

8. Fully English must be conversed. Problem? NAAAHH

9. Super duper tough examination questions. What do you expect dayana? You are pursuing degree in medicine right? ahaha.

10. Nothing else I can list.

So yeah, my parents are now eagerly enthusiastic about this one. Biasalaah, anak sulung kesayangan. *Cough*

And thank you for modernity, Facebook HELPS a lot in the sense of connecting some of my future coursemates and what not with the seniors. Blogs also come in very handy. Credits to Kak Chick (Ruben) for her time answering my Questionaires. And also other seniors like Aidil Yusof and Erwyn Ooi.

>>p/s: nak beli henfon apa eh? that is worth the price and come in handy?<<

Ecrire c'est ranger la vrac de la vie - 'writing is sorting out the mess of life'

2011-07-28T14:17:00.001+08:00

Indeed, a blog is not only a medium to voice things we have in minds but more like to sort the mess in our life. I have a nice example whereby I was having frustration at Pre-Medicine. I had this terrible inferior complex, so to ventilate the feelings, I wrote and posted them down. That week only, I have got five comments telling me to be strong and whatnot pieces of advice. All of them helped me a lot to strive in Pre-Medicine. (*ceh baru pre-med, dah tension bagai. Loser betul aku. Haha*)

Other example would be during the days I utterly explained and complained regarding the dark sides of Puncak Alam. The misery of having to repeat foundation again. Then, came some friends of mine, commenting, again giving advice and words to note. In a sudden, the miseries seemed to vanish. This is certainly the power of blogging. And, I must admit, blogging is also my 'way' or method to stand rigid to the ground, second thing after Allah S.W.T.

A blog plays a vital role to set a good example to readers too. Our main goal when setting a blog, must not be based on popularity, even though I must admit, sometimes I am kinda sad not to be receiving comments after months, which would makes you to be negative, and think that no one wants to follow your blog anymore. Basically, according to Hilal Asyraf's book- Batu-Bata Kehidupan, when one's blog, he or she must at least set a mind to help his or her readers. Help in the sense as a Dai'e or playing part sending Islamic messages to the readers. Whether or not people would see the posts as useful, that is not taken into account. What matters is we try it hard to 'call' viewers/readers out there to be closer to God Almighty

So, in the end, we must do what we think best. Not only for ourselves but people out there. Turn the ease we have today for mankind. And, I too, have my own mission in this blogging world insyaAllah. Probably, I will post down my next 'adventure' in India. Pray that I will. Hehehe. I love blogging and when we totally in love with something, make it useful. Thanks for the time reading this:)

Wordless Wednesday :)

2011-07-27T17:30:00.002+08:00

Ron Weasley

Hermione Granger.

They love each other. What is even better?

Confusion Again

2011-07-26T14:53:00.001+08:00

I dwell with so many confusions lately. And I hate all these messes. How I pray I could erase them and let them go away. But I guess, I must keep positive, that all this mishaps would turn out as my useful guide and allow me to grow into a better conflict solver.

Been attached to a blog by Kak Chik a.k.a Ruben, who happened to be one of my future seniors at India. Simply like her blog, even though it is sort of a tedious time trying to read it. Sorry, but I am a bit harsh when it comes to lots of abbreviations and lots of 'on-purpose-misspelling' (ejaan salah yang disengajakan). However, as a total, her blog and bro Aidil Yusof's blogs are terrific and super helpful. I should hand in kudos to Naqib, a best friend, who linked me this blog a couple of months ago. HEHEHE.

So basically, Kak Chik was very helpful as a Q&A ambassador. I asked stupid questions like how long does it take from KL to Bangalore and how long will class runs a day? And things like that. Yesterday, I got confused with SPC (Skim Pelajar Cemerlang)- which I am puzzled how did she managed to get it even though she was from PASUM, since these days I thought SPC was only meant for SPM fresh graduates, like what Nina and Zaki got earlier.

Then, here's the answers, a very long and informative one I supposed, regarding the MARA thingy which I have been trying to copy inside this slow brain.

hi dayana azhar...

erm.. klu sy ckp sy hebat awk percaya x???awk xtawu ke selama nie mara memang akan call orang2 yg perform masa matrix dlu utk fly ke luar negara...

awk tawu ke perjanjian mara tue mcm mana?

awk tawu ke apa spc?

mara punya spc is basically loan.. loan boleh ubah...pinjaman ble ubah...

pada tahun2 sebelum nya... iaitu sebelum tahun nie.. menurut perjanjian spc.. peminjam perlu membayar balik sbyk 1% daripada pinjaman tersebut sekiranya peminjam itu berjaya dengan cemerlang dalam tempoh pengajian tersebut...

kalo dikirakan.. peruntukn bagi seorang pelajar ke india sebanyak rm 500k.. jd 1% daripada 500k.. berapa?? sy tawu awk pandai matematik...

sebab tue laa.. orang akn selalu igt.. bila dapat spc.. dapat scholarship yang 100% xyah bayar...

walaupun mara tue mmg murah hati.. namun... dia perlukan duit jugak utk trus bermurah hati...

tetapi dalam kes awk nie... mara daa revise dia pye polisi... maka pelajar yang mendapat spc harus membayar balik 20% daripada duit pinjaman tue...

kiranya.. apapun awk nak bagitawu sy.... sy nk kasi taw blk sama awk.. mara mmg daa ubah dia punya syarat tue.. thats why korang sumer yg bkl menandatangani perjanjian ngan mara harus membayar blk 20% drp jumlah pinjaman...

klo awk rasa nk keterangan lebih lanjut... awk ble berhubungan ngan pihak mara bahagian hutang piutang tue(lpe ap nama dia yang sebenar)

erm.. biasa laa tue lambat drp mara.. sbb awk bkn nya bdk mara yang under mara pye preparation.. dia kira lg pening.. nati satu hari.. bila awk kne panggil utk btn.. baru awk rasa sume tue jelas... ok... tp sy xsure ada btn tak time2 puasa nie

owh.. lagi satu sy nk ckp.. basically jpa pye scholar pun bkn scholar free.. if u don't want to work with government in years(according to the contract) u need to pay back all amount that government spent to u...

kiranya sumer benda sama saja laa.. xkira awk dpt scholarship drp mana pun badan kat m'sia tue.. cuma ada segelintir jer bg as real pye scholarship.. like genting i think..

awk jgn pikie 20% tue byk.. 20% tue bkn nya interest... tue jumlah awk kne bayar blk.. so still u shud call it as scholar ship!

about the book.. don't judge the book by what u heard.. u have read those books... buku tue nati jadi makanan ruji awk.. bukan sume orang ada buku fav yg sama... u will understand what i said once u experience it.. tempe mean local tempatan=tempe...

recomendation is based on usm text book.. u will get the list in buku fasa satu once u register the course..

hubli is a place.. u will take a plane from bangalore to hubli.. search in google map if u wanna see it.. kiranya it is a transit...

belgaum-bangalore jauh mcm kb-mersing.. as i told u earlier...

July 25, 2011 7:04 PM

So, YES, now I knew a little bit on how this 'loan' works. Now, I have to pray real hard to get it. Handed in all the necessary requirements already - with my father. Just hope they read my essay carefully and understand I need it. Please, Dear Allah The Most Merciful, gives me strength to face this with calm.

To Leave

2011-07-25T02:07:00.004+08:00

To leave precious people behind and explore the world independently is my next mission, insyaAllah. Unfortunately, the feeling of wanting to be at home surrounds me most of the time. Could I do this?

I have the least experience of being independent. Since I was born. parents have been supporting me up and down and been there for me when I need them. I must be really stupid at the age of 16 whereby I frankly told my mom I don't need her to be with me all the time. Now, at the age of 19, I want her to be beside me no matter what. I am a spoil brat after all.

I guess right now, at this moment, is the best I have achieved. Thanks Allah for all these happiness and joy that I have been dwelling in.

And, yes, after so many months waiting for the answer, where should we go to pursue our degree, the answers are finally here. My friends in Asasi have been praying to be within each other at close distance.

"Doa eh supaya kita dapat Uni dekat"

and they said that thing over and over again everytime we bid each other farewell. But Allah knows best.

Asasi UiTM would be my amazing Alma Mater. I sort of grew in that place even though I bloody despised it at first. I was a fool during that time when crying out loud, hesitating not to accept the offer. Luckily, dad and mom persuaded me, one day the three of us went to sight seeing the campus. It was new, it was also a bit silent since it was less occupied compared to what it would be like now. I then found some other friends who would attend the same course, so I fake a smile on my face and click yes to the offer.

Guess Allah has certainly destined the best place for me to kick start my studies. I am blessed with friends, and these amazing girls who keep me strong and rigid as well as providing never ending laughter. We rarely go to classes together because of we stayed in different blocks, but in classes, we never did separate. Macam belangkas although it had just been less than a year studying under one roof.

Firstly, I am so thankful that I have Calvin. A good friend to talk and to listen to my problems and I must admit he is the first male friend at UiTM whom I always feel comfortable to talk eye-to-eye. He was there when Chiam died. And he can sensed the despair of loosing a good friend. He will be studying in UiTM Sabah, and will miss him a lot. My first friend ever from Asasi would be dear Dina Azureen. One of many class clowns, and everyone could laugh or smile for her, even when she starts to speak. Glad to have meet her and reunite again on the recent 21st July 2011. She will be flying to Bandung, Indonesia, pursuing medicine at Uni Padjajaran twinning with UKM. Such an amazing opportunity and I am absolutely positive she would be one great kind and lovable doctor just like the one in Patch Adam. Seeing her smiles would already bring calamity in myself. Hehhee.

After Dina, I would say my other friends would be Azneeza, Azyan Amani and Syikin. Three muskeeteers of beauty. Simply love them. Azneeza and Azyan would pursue dentistry after this. Azneeza will be heading to UiTM Shah Alam (USA) and Azyan will be boarding off to Alexandria, Egypt. On the other hand, Syikin would be leaving to Sarawak, to study at UniMAS. What I love best about Azneeza is that she's the most relax person I ever encountered, yet she is always consistent with her studies. Then, she's so cute and funny too. I should thank her a lot for her Canon DSLR that cause our pictures during reunion 21st July looks totally amazing heheehe and the most important thing, made all of us looks beautiful. (Perasan Lebih)

About Azyan Amani, just don't mention: She is the strongest and coolest person I know. Love her cheeks and I am puzzled why she doesn't like them :(. She looks amazing with those cheek bones, seriously. Very humble and kind. I simply loves her voice and adore her for her alertness in small details, especially during laboratories in Asasi. Syikin, by the way, is so simple yet adorable. She's the best person I have in Asasi to blabber on Gossip Girls and to talk on new movies and new video clips. We certainly miss the moments hanging around in her room on every Wednesday to catch up with horror movies. I miss screaming aloud like crazy. Hahaha.

Not to forget, I will forever miss my class representative: Her name is Eliza :) Simply a loud person I ever know. And the most confident person among these girls. She's strict and focus. I like her because she's sooo sarcastic but at the same time, her sarcasms didn't hurt at ALL. She will be heading to UniMAP to further her studies. And thanks for joining us on that very day of 21st July:)

Dina Syafiqah or Dinas is another person I shall mention about. She is an amazing planner and manager, seriously. She deals with all the prospects for our vacation to Sabah merely on her own at first, and certainly she did a great job. A big crowd of applause should be giving to her. Sometimes she would be a bit moody, but she is fun to be with. I have a great time managing our hotels and trips at Sabah with her. ehehhe. Even though, I didn't help much, but she never nagged. Thanks Dinas for being so patient. And goodluck at UKM, and I know it will be a good place to start a new life for our future:)

They are great people and they are my friends. So lucky to be part of them. Special in their own ways and now we are even going to embark into another journey of life. I will miss their voices, their jokes, their sarcasms, the way they look like when they were eating, when they were sulking, when they were mad, when they were extremely happy, when they were sad and all those stupid things we did together. I had a lot of fun this year alone, and I should credit them BIG for this.

>>p/s: crying while typing this literally :'(<<

Insidious T.T

2011-07-23T16:04:00.002+08:00

After so many months, I finally could watch this 'Ever Wanting To Watch Horror Movie'. Insidious is not just any horror movie, and it is just 100 times better than any local hantu pocong or pontianak and sorts.

Insidious is also a new word which I must add into my vocabulary. It is defined as : harmful or proceeding in a dangerous way. And as the story goes, it certainly INSIDIOUSLY FRIGHTEN THE HECK OUT OF ME.

The movie was smooth. It revolves around a family of five, who just moved in into a beautiful house. In the family, there're 3 little kids, and the eldest would be the one who is on focus. He is Dalton. A very cute little boy who loves discovering things in his new home. While his mom and dad were both busy with their own things, he would went to the attic and play like any other kids of the same age.

One fine day, Dalton who was playing in the attic saw something strange and thus tried to catch the thing. He climbed on this wood ladder and it broke. Dalton fell and knocked his forehead. He then cried for his mommy and daddy who was downstairs. They ran up to get him and he just had a bruises on the forehead, no serious injury. They tucked their son in bed and wished good night.

The next morning, Dalton didn't wake up. His dad, was worried sick. Brought to the hospital whereby doctor diagnosed that he is in coma but bizarrely he has no signs of serious head injury or blood clot or whatsoever. To let him stay in the hospital would be in vain, so he was brought back home.

After that, strange things keep happening. The pity one should be the mother of these kids, who keep listening to voices and whispering. And one night, their little baby daughter cried. The mother saw one entity in black, and she screamed. The father then went downstairs, and found out the door was unlocked.

They moved out again after many scary nights. But the similar things keep happening. The mother would see this 'ghost' hopping around and dancing in their house. Even Dalton's grandmother saw one black entity standing beside Dalton in his room. A satan that have been wanting Dalton's body.

Well, after that we would know what the heck was actually occurring in Dalton's body. There's this kinda of ghost expert called Elise who explained that Dalton was experiencing Astral Projection or in other words, he is sleeping, physically, but spiritually, he is travelling to another dimension, a dimension of the dead. 0.O...

Then came the twist, whereby, the similar thing had also happened in Dalton's father. When he was a child, there's also this ghost who kept appearing in his photos, so since then, Dalton's father would never had photos of himself. He also experienced astral projection and stuff, so his son, Dalton seemed to be inheriting that capability. The only way to save Dalton and bring him back would be sending his own father to travel to that ghost dimension through hypnotize.

And so, yes, Dalton's father or Josh, went to the ghost world, whereby he was actually in his own previous house but with the ancient occupants. They were the dead. He found Dalton in some sort of a dungent, which look like artificial hell. While trying to return to the real world, guided by the voice of his wife, he saw the same ghost that haunted him when he was a child. An old woman in black. He kept telling the ghost to go away and it seemed like he made it, but the end of the story was unexpected.

His soul and Dalton's were successfully returned. Everyone was so happy including me. But, when Elise, the ghost expert saw Josh's hands, she suspected something wrong. It was not Josh's hand, but was pale and wrinkled. She quickly grabbed the paranormal camera, and SNAP. When she looked at the LCD, she knew she was right. It was not Josh, but the old woman ghost. The ghost strangled Elise to death. Josh's wife came to see what had happened as she heard screaming, but she was too late. Elise was dead, and what she saw in front her was not Josh, but the old woman ghost. WAAA...

To feel more scared sensation watch it yourself. Macam cerita kartun je aku nyer review. LOL

>>P/S: what a sad ending and also a very nerve wrecking ending. the dad had to sacrifice for his kid. but still don't know why the ghost of the old woman tried to search for him<<<

Harry Pothead Vs Hanna

2011-07-22T00:50:00.000+08:00

Macam takde kerja je post on this matter. But I never imagined how my statement in Facebook could results in some rage within Harry Pothead's fans. I am amazed and impressed for their love towards Harry Pothead.

Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part II where IT ALL ENDS, was amazing. Even though I somehow skipped some of its movies, the last two before this one, and stopped reading the books since Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets because my friends kept stealing them, I still CAPABLE to understand what It All Ends trying to tell the world.

Fred Weasley died was a despair. I almost cried because of it since I saw how Ron mourned over his brother. Even for Selverus Snape, it was such a disappointment to see him died. Overall the movie was the best for the year, and up till the moment I went back home after watching it.

However, after watching Hanna today, it seems like Harry Potter was a more expected kinda movie, compared to Hanna, which contained a lot of unexpected and nerve-wrecking scenes. 'I miss your heart' and BANG-Hanna shot the ox right on the heart, and so the ox died- This was the opening scene. Seriously, we tried to think who is this girl. So brave, living like an eskimo in the middle of snowy nowhere.

In that snowy-forest, Hanna a girl, a young one, just enter adolescence, was trained by a man named Eric, who she thought was her biological father. Apparently, Eric was a secret agent, macam CIA, FBI whatever elses that exists in this world. So Eric was damn good in martial arts, and stuff involving kicking people and make people no longer lives in a cruel way- or in other word- a killer.

Hanna, even though was still young, had an amazing muscle strength, boleh siat lembu pakai tangan je weh :P And she can also speak in several languages including Arabic, remember many scientific, and medical terms. The one I remembered was on kissing- involving 30 muscles-including the osbicularis oris. LOL.

But Hanna was also run after by this one woman called Marissa, an agent too. Well, basically, Hanna is one of many mutant babies, who was 'created' in a lab/in an association, whereby they wanna make a good soldiers for the future. So, genuinely, they took many fertilized eggs/embryos and improvised them in terms of muscle strength, power and reduce the senses of pity and scared. But one fine day, this agent called Marissa, closed this project and thus she tried to kill all these mutant babies. And Hanna, was taken away by Eric, which I don't know why? Maybe because he pitied that little girl or something, and Hanna's mother, died, as she was shot by Marissa.

So, mostly the plot was about, Hanna running away from the CIA/FBI dungent, and she escaped through the Morroco borderline, where she learnt more about life-knows electricity and stuff. In the end, she killed Marissa. The end. LOL. I hate reviewing, because there's so much to be summarized. Seriously, this one is worth a watch. Paying RM10 is not a waste after all.

EM...I will certainly give 8 out of 10 for the movie Hanna. And for HP7 perhaps 7.9 out of 10. HAHAHAHHAXD

InsyaAllah

2011-07-21T00:24:00.000+08:00

DAYANA M.D

Special gift from a special friend :) ehehhe. InsyaAllah. This is only the beginning towards reaching the life-long dream. Ya Rabb, gives me strength in whatever obstacles and hurdles I have to face afterwards, make it in India or here. Ya Salam, protect me from harm and danger. And yes, it is again a beginning of a long journey. Amin..:)